


Welcome to the Valley

by blueandbronze12



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Er - more tags to come, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Original Characters - Freeform, Slice of Life, Slow Build, World Exploration, probably, stupid anxious babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-10-30 14:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10878252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueandbronze12/pseuds/blueandbronze12
Summary: "There will come a day when you feel crushed by the burden of modern life - "She lost her mother.  She lost her job.  A letter from the past offers her a way out, and she jumps on it.  Welcome to the Valley, kid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> That quote resonates hard with me right now. Given the option, I think I would do the same. Just another take on the farmer coming to the Valley, and the life they might build for themselves. Tags updated as story develops.

  
"This really isn't working out. If you aren't interested in doing the job, then we have no reason to keep you around."

I stared at my manager over the scuffed gray tabletop. They'd told me that Joja was cruel and heartless, but I hadn't thought it would get to me that soon.

"So - is that it? Am I being fired?" I asked, stumbling over my words. I'd never been fired before.

"Yes. Collect your things and turn in your key."

In stunned silence I returned to my cubicle, my feet shuffling on the nondescript gray carpet. Fired? What was I going to do now? I fell into the creaky desk chair, it's spring groaning at the sudden weight, and stared at my desk. There were precious few personal items there, a blown glass turtle that I thought made the bland desktop a bit more festive, a wireless mouse, a few pencils. The scrap of paper I kept tucked under the keyboard with little squares drawn on, each one marked off as the clock turned over an hour, each box scribbled out an hour closer to when I could go home. The digital clock in the corner of my computer screen read 2:30 - I wouldn't get to mark off the other three boxes.

Wordlessly I scooped my few belongings into a small paper box. All around me I heard keys clacking, murmured voices on the telephone. The woman in the cubicle next to me, the one who smoked heavily on her breaks and doused herself in cheap perfume to hide the scent barely glanced up as I thumbed the monitor switch and stood, leaving my cube for the last time. I slid my key card across the desk to the security guard and fumbled through the break room. As I headed towards the glass double doors, I saw a young woman filling out an application. I wondered if she was there to take my job.

The sunlight outside was far too bright, and I squinted against it as I walked across the parking lot. I'd head home, I supposed. Thoughts whirled in my head - would I be able to make my rent? How much money did I have in my account? How long could I stretch my last paycheck? I slid the box into the front seat of my car and sat behind the wheel, considering. I felt a burning in the back of my throat as contemplation turned to panic, and hot tears began to stream down my face. What was I going to do?

I didn't remember the drive home. I found myself chucking the box under the window next to my bookshelf and throwing myself across my bed. My face still felt hot and puffy, and tears threatened at any moment. Compulsively I pulled up my bank account on my phone, checking it in panic. There wasn't much money there, enough for a few weeks of bills if I was careful. I had to find something else soon, or I'd loose my apartment.

"What did I do wrong?" I asked aloud. I stared across the room at the small series of framed pictures on my dresser. There was the one of me and Grandpa, sitting on the dock fishing together. I was making a face at the squirming fish bait, but he was laughing. I smiled softly at the memory. The photo was old, a little dusty. The one next to it, though, was much more recent, and I instantly sobered. My mother stared back at me out of the frame, our old dog wrapped in her arms. It was the photo from her funeral. A couple of flowers laid on the dresser next to the frame, petals still clinging to the stems. She'd only been gone a few months now, and the wound was fresh.

"What do I do, mom?" I asked, pushing myself up on my elbows. "I - I can't. It's just too much. First you, then my job - " The tears threatened to start again, and I breathed deeply. I was tired of crying. "Sometimes it just feels like life is out to get me." I clambered off the bed and snatched up the photo, hugging it to my chest. I missed her so much.

As I grabbed at the frame, though, I jostled grandpa's picture. Something shifted and slid across the top of the dresser. A heavy envelope, with a purple wax seal.

_"No, don't open it yet," Grandpa said, the heavy rasp of his breathing nearly drowned out by the respirator machine. He leaned back on the pillows as I ran my fingers over the thick paper. "Hang on to it. You'll know when it's time to open it; when you most need it."_

Without thinking, I ran my fingers under the lip of paper, cracking the old seal. Fragments of wax littered my bed as I sat, reading over the letter. A second sheet of paper, this one embossed with an official looking mark, slid out of the envelope and to my feet.

A farm? He'd left me a farm? How had that slipped through the estate auctions? Surely by now the place had been sold or bulldozed for a strip mall, or something equally depressing.

But as I sat in my small apartment, the thought of escaping, leaving the city and finding a quiet little place, growing a few vegetables, maybe having a chicken, really seemed appealing. I laid the letter next to me and dropped to my knees, hunting under the bed for my suitcase.

***

The bus rattled and wheezed, and the curly headed woman behind the steering column swore violently as she jerked at the gearshift. I snapped awake and grabbed hold of the back of the seat in front of me as the entire bus lurched to a stop, nearly rattling me out into the aisle.

"Sorry for the rude wake-up, kiddo," the woman yelled over her shoulder. I sat up a bit straighter, blinking drowsily. Was she talking to me? "We're a bit outside the town, might have to walk a stretch. I'm afraid old Bess here's driven her last mile for a while." She shook her head and stood, hauling on the lever that pried open the door. "I'll grab your stuff for you." Still muttering, she stomped down the stairs and outside.

I grabbed up my backpack and stood as well, glancing around. I wondered if we had made a stop in the early morning - I was the only one left aboard the bus. I vaguely remembered leaving the interstate, turning onto a winding road as the sun peeked above the horizon. A glance at my watch told me it was half-past nine. I'd slept through the night aboard the bus.

The woman was fighting with one of the panels on the side of the bus as I disembarked, prying at the handles and puffing, her face red. She turned when she heard my footsteps and glanced back, taking the opportunity to rest. She drew one arm across her sweaty red forehead and seemed to assess me.

"Well, could be worse, I suppose. We're actually pretty close to the old farmstead." She pointed, and I saw a winding dirt road disappearing down a wooded path, a dilapidated sign pointing in the same direction. "Mayor said he'd meet you down there."

"How do you know I'm going to the farm?" I asked with sudden concern. The rattling bus, the quaint but slightly creepy forest road - everything seemed just a bit too idyllic. The lurching nightmares that had plagued me through the bus ride flared back up, of coming to a strange town full of people I'd never met, trying to carve a life out of the wilderness -

"Oh, that. We don't get many newcomers. When Lewis heard you were taking up the old farm again, that the old man really did leave it to someone and not just to lie there and rot, we all got pretty excited." She laughed, a loud, genuine sound. "Any news round these parts is big, hon." With a sigh, she pushed herself off the side of the bus and turned around. "Now if I can just get this consarned luggage - " she tugged ineffectually at the handle, which still refused to budge.

"Here, let me," I said, pressing forward. I grabbed at the handle and yanked, hard. There was a rusty screech and the panel lifted. My suitcase lay inside, a little lonely looking. I grabbed at it, checking to make sure all the latches were still done up properly. When I crawled out of the compartment, though, the woman was staring.

"Well, looks like you won't have any trouble with the farm work. Pretty tough for a little lady."

I frowned - I was a good foot taller than the woman, including her stiff curls.

"Anyway, just head on down that path. Mayor should be waiting. I'll head back into town, see if I can get someone to check on old Bessie Bus here." She gave me a wide grin and slugged me on the arm before setting off down the path herself. As she passed the fence, though, she turned and glanced back. "By the way, I'm Pam. Welcome to the Valley, kid."


	2. Chapter 2

I headed off down the path, suitcase rattling as it rolled on the hard-packed dirt. It had been so long since I'd walked anywhere but a city sidewalk; my ankles threatned to roll every step. A break in the trees loomed ahead and I hurried, anxiety beginning to bloom in my stomach. This was it.

It had been years, but I recognized the old farmhouse. Tall weeds had grown up around it, fallen logs and branches littering the ground. A gaping hole yawned through the porch where the old swing used to hang.

"Oh, you're here!"

I jumped at the voice, dropping the handle of my suitcase. The red-haired woman darted forward and grabbed it before it toppled over.

"Sorry! Oh gosh, sorry, you spooked me!" I said, reaching for my case. She smiled and handed it back.

"No, no, my apologies. I wasn't expecting you here so soon, that's all! Lewis said you'd be coming in on the bus and I hadn't seen it pull through yet."

"Oh. Oh yeah, the bus broke down. Just outside of town."

The woman frowned, glancing back towards the wooded path.

"That's too bad. Most of us don't bother with cars, the town's too small. We take the bus into the city if we need." She seemed to consider for a moment, then brightened. "I'll have to let Seb know. He's always mucking about with that motorcycle of his, he might be able to lend a hand." She grinned at me and I gave a small, uneasy smile of my own.

"Er -" I muttered, a bit lost.

"Oh, sorry, I forget. Seb - Sebastion, he's my eldest. About your age, I'd say. He does like to tinker about with that bike. I'm Robin, town carpenter."

"Carpenter? Is that still a thing?" I asked. She chuckled.

"Round these parts it is. Most of the buildings are pretty old, built by hand. We don't need fancy architects or construction, just someone handy with a hammer. Speaking of which, the mayor asked me to stop by and take a look at this old place before you got here. Guess I'm running late."

She turned her attention towards the house as the door creaked open and an older man stepped out.

"Robin! Wonderful." He called. "I've checked the place over and it seems pretty sturdy. A bit of dry rot to some of the floorboards and the back window is cracked, though. "

"I'll take a look," she replied and headed around back of the cabin, leaving me alone.

"Well!" the man said, clapping his hands together. "You finally made it. Mayor Lewis." he stuck one of his hands out and I hesitantly took it. "We spoke on the phone, this was your grandfather's farm?"

"Yessir," I said, dropping my hand and fiddling nervously with the handle of my suitcase again. For a small, slow town, things certainly were moving fast. "He left me a letter, said it was mine if I wanted it."

"City life finally drug you down, eh?" The mayor asked, looking at me sideways. "He always said the same thing."

"You knew my grandfather?"

"I know everyone in this town, miss. Your grandfather and I were good friends, though, and it hurt me to see his old farm fall into disrepair." He turned and glanced over the weed-choked field and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was never anything big, but your grandfather was a humble man. He loved this place." A slow smile crept across his face. "I'm glad to know someone will be working the land once again." He gazed at me with an odd sort of prideful look. "That reminds me, I have something for you. Come on inside, take a look at the old place."

He hopped up the few steps of the porch, surprisingly spry for his apparent age. I followed a bit more sedately, mindful of the way the steps creaked dangerously. He pushed open the door to the cabin and ushered me inside.

It was dark, and a bit musty smelling, but surprisingly clean.

"Marnie's been checking up on the place every so often," Lewis said as he followed me inside. "She's on the ranch to the south. You need anything, check with her. She's a good sort and'll help you out any way she can." As he spoke, he knelt and kindled a fire in the stone fireplace. I boggled at it for a moment - a real fireplace. No one in the city had that sort of luxury, and the thought of having one all to my own felt the slightest bit indulgent. The lack of other accouterments, though, dulled the feeling. There was a narrow bed in one corner, a few rough chairs around a rougher table, and an old-fashioned television set. I ran my fingers along the top, marveling at the wire antennas. A heavy wooden door sat in the far wall, a few planks of wood nailed over it.

"What's through there?" I asked, wheeling my suitcase up to the bed and dropping it finally. Lewis glanced up from the fireplace and considered.

"The house used to be a bit bigger," he said, shrugging as he stood and brushed at the legs of his brown trousers. "The old man started boarding up rooms as he got older and had less reason to use them. I think that used to be the kitchen in there. His last few years he ate all his meals down at the saloon." He sighed. "You get to be a certain age and the company and ease makes up for the money it costs. Trust me on that one."

"But why board it all up?" I asked.

"Saves on heat, keeps him from wandering in there on a whim and losing something. The way I understand it the house was getting to be just too much to handle. Upstairs had some water damage from burst pipes, and he just got to the point where he couldn't fix it up anymore. You decide you want it opened back up, I'm sure Robin would be happy to help you fix it back up."

On cue, Robin appeared in the window. She tapped on the glass, inspecting the crack in the pane, and grinned at me through it.

"Everything looks ok back here, mayor. I've got some extra window glass back at my shop, I'll have this fixed in a jiffy." She said, her voice pitched high to carry through the glazing.

"Excellent," the mayor said, nodding at her. "Oh right, that reminds me." He grabbed up a wrapped package that was sitting on the round table and held it out to me. "It's not much, believe me. More of a welcoming gift."

I tore open the flaps, curious. Inside was a simple paper packet. I glanced up at the mayor.

"Like I said, not much. They're parsnip seeds, miss. Spring crop. From the way you talked farming wasn't something you knew much about, so I thought I'd help you out a bit." He smiled and reached behind the door. "I also dug some of your grandfather's old tools out of storage. I thought Clint had wandered off with them, but here they are, still in good shape. Come on back out, I'll teach you to hoe a row." He chuckled and led me back out into the daylight.

***

A few hours and a new, nasty blister throbbing in the web of flesh between my thumb and forefinger later, I looked at the neat row of tilled dirt, a small sense of accomplishment resting on my shoulders.

"Not too bad for your first time," the mayor said, clapping me on the shoulder. "There's lots more things you can plant, of course, more vegetables, fruit, flowers. Pierre has lots of seeds in his shop. I'm sure you'll want to stop in and speak with him soon. In the meantime, don't forget to water them well, and you'll have a harvest in no time." He smiled gently at me, and I felt my sense of satisfaction grow. This was what I had been missing, I realized. This sense of pride, of working at something and seeing results. No amount of phone calls in a cubicle would have ever given me that. I smiled back.

"Well, I'll leave you to it. Feel free to wander towards town, I'm sure everyone would love a chance to meet you," he added, tugging his cap off and blotting at his damp forehead. "They're nice folks, if a little - er, curious."

"Curious?" I asked, leaning on the hoe. It took me a second to find my balance, but it felt natural. I laughed softly at myself. I was already becoming a caricature.

"Small town, miss. Not much changes. When things do, everyone wants their nose in it. But do stop by. The saloon is open, good for a bite or a drink. Most people stop in. Introduce yourself."

My stomach took that opportunity to growl loudly, and I realized I had not eaten anything since the crumpled bag of chips that I'd bought late last night at the bus station. Lewis smiled and I put one hand over my abdomen, a pained expression drifting across my face.

"I may have to do so," I said. "I don't seem to have a kitchen."

At that, the mayor let out a huge laugh.

"Come on then, miss, I'll walk you into town."

I leaned the hoe against the porch - my porch, I thought suddenly. My house. And while the patch of dirt I'd turned over was tiny compared to the acres of farmland, it was still mine. Mine to use as I saw fit. Mine to take care of. That sense of pride and security welled up again. The hoe slipped and clattered against a scythe and a hand axe as I tripped after the mayor.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad plan after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Six a.m. was an ungodly hour to be awake and working. The sun was barely over the hill, but every morning the squawking little alarm clock I'd found in the bedside drawer shook me from my slumber. At first, I'd fiddled with the settings, trying to reset it to a more normal hour. But more than once I'd awakened to another of my new neighbors pounding on my door, introducing themselves, asking for cave carrots or lost axes or who knows what else. Eventually, I left the clock alone. 

I stumbled from my bed, blindly feeling my way across the rough floorboards towards the table where my clothes were scattered. For the hundredth time, I made a mental note to ask Robin about the possibility of commissioning a dresser, if I ever had the money. Until then, the table would have to serve. I mumbled irritably under my breath as I shoved my feet into mud-caked boots. No kitchen meant no coffee unless I wanted to boil a kettle on the fire. I was more afraid of burning myself than getting the caffeine.

Outside the barest hint of pink light was shining above the horizon, most of the sky still dark and cool. Something about the early morning breeze seemed to revive me and I stood on the porch, soaking in the quiet. 

Most of the farm was still in shambles; a month or so had not really changed that. Every time I tried to open up more land for planting, I found another boulder or heavy log and had to traipse back to the farmhouse for the pickaxe. Instead, I cultivated the small patch closest to the house, carefully weeding it and watering each green sprout by hand. The little pond a dozen yards away from the cabin burbled in the early morning, the sound of frogs and crickets a pleasant counterpoint to my shambling footsteps as I made my way to the field. 

"Come on, little guys, grow," I murmured, stroking the silky green leaves that dotted my little garden. Each plant was bright and vibrant, standing in its own little hill of soil. I crouched next to one, eyeing it in the dim light. It had been weeks since I'd planted, surely I'd see some sprouts or flowers or something, right? That's how vegetables grew - little buds off of the main plant. I'd had parsnips once or twice back in town and I knew they were heavy vegetables. How these delicate little frills could hold up such hefty things was beyond me. 

"Morning, farmer." 

I jumped, throwing myself backwards as I overbalanced and landing on my backside rather than crush my plants. 

"Marnie, you about gave me a coronary." I looked up at the older woman. She must have come up through the bottom field. "What's going on?" 

"Ah, nothing much child. Just checking up on you. Lew - the mayor asked me to keep an eye on you, make sure you were doing alright, and we haven't seen much of you in town. Everyone's dying to get to know you, you know." She smiled kindly at me, and I shrugged sheepishly.

"I know. I've just been busy - " Marnie glanced around at my field, still filled with debris, but said nothing. "And the thought of being on display to the whole town..." I shuddered. Marnie gave me an understanding look.

"I know. It's hard for a newcomer, especially in a small town like this. Everyone has to know your business. Shane's still adjusting, and he's been here for a year or more." 

"Shane?" The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place a face.

"My nephew. He lives with me. Yoba, child, you need to get off this farm and meet some people. He's a nice enough boy, but drinks too much in my opinion." 

The image of a dark-haired man with a tankard pressed to his lips came to me, one of the few I'd met that first night in the saloon. 

"You know, he's about your age, maybe a little older..." Marnie said, a little slyly. I looked up at her, aggrieved.

"Come on, Marnie, matchmaking?" I groaned.

"Well, you never know how things will work out, now, do you." She said, propping her hands on her hips. "Honestly, though, getting off this place and meeting a few people will do you some good. Let me help you with this harvest and I'll take you to lunch today." She glanced down at my parsnip plants with some interest. 

"Harvest?" I asked, pushing myself up off the ground. "They aren't ready to harvest yet." 

"Of course they are. Look, the leaves are nice and healthy - a good strong root for sure." She hitched up her skirts and knelt in the dirt beside me, digging at the base of one of my plants with her fingers. I allowed myself to fall back down beside her, a little lost.

"Roots?" I asked weakly. 

"Roots, yes, parsnips are root vegetables. Like carrots or potatoes." She looked at me sideways. "What did you think they were?" 

Images of long white growths sprouting from the ends of my green plants danced before my eyes and I groaned. 

"I'm way out of my depth," I muttered. "What made me think I could be a farmer - " 

"Nonsense. You'll get the hang of it. Now look - " 

Marnie grasped at the stem and tugged, helping to separate the root from the soil as she applied pressure. A long tuber appeared in her hand as she pulled, little spindly roots hanging on to clumps of dirt. She shook it gently to dislodge the soil, then handed it to me. 

"See, look there. A beautiful parsnip. Now you try." 

In a few hours, with Marnie's help, I had filled a bushel with parsnips, each one creamy white and healthy, the stems bound together in bundles. The sun was high overhead by then, and we both sweated a bit as I lugged the basket towards the pick-up box. 

"I'd say that's a successful first harvest," she said, patting me on the back. I grinned and swiped at my forehead, leaving a muddy streak to mingle with my hair. 

"Thanks, Marnie," I said, plopping the bushel into the wooden crate. Mayor Lewis would be pleased, I thought. And tomorrow I'd have a little more gold in my pocket. Maybe I could ask Robin about that dresser after all. "You said something about lunch?"

Marnie smiled and reached over to close the lid of the crate before pushing me towards the dirt path into the village.


	4. Chapter 4

"Pierre?"

I pounded on the door of the little shop to no avail. Cupping my hands around my eyes I peered through the window, trying to spot the shopkeeper, but everything was dark. I glanced over at the calendar on the bulletin board and groaned at my own stupidity.   Wednesday. Of course. The one day I actually made it to town to sell my produce, and he was closed. Just my luck. I glanced down at the basket filled with cauliflower and sighed. I guess I could lug them back to the farm and chuck them in the pickup bin, but I'd hoped to sell them directly. I had my eye on a new axe in Clint's shop.

"Oh, good morning Miss Farmer!"

A quavering voice called out and I looked back over my shoulder. An elderly woman was tottering down the stone steps of her house and waved at me.

"Good morning, er - Evelyn, right?"

"Bless you, child, you can call me Granny." She smiled, her eyes nearly disappearing into the wrinkled folds at the corners. I smiled in return. "What brings you to town so early?"

I sighed and gestured at the bushel of cauliflower.

"Fresh harvest. I was hoping to get it sold off first thing but it's Wednesday - "

"Oh yes, Pierre does have a strange schedule. We're all quite used to it by now but of course it must be a change for you. I'm sure the shops in the city are open all hours!" She wobbled towards me and I impulsively held out a hand. She seemed so frail, I worried she might collapse at any moment. She peered into my basket. "What lovely cauliflowers. I don't suppose - ?"

I smiled and reached in, rooting around until I found a particularly nice head and handed it to her.

"Fresh from the farm," I added, grinning. She took the vegetable and began patting her pockets.

"I have a few gold here somewhere - "

"Oh, please, it's not a problem - " I protested. I could spare one cauliflower for a friend.

"Nonsense, you deserve to be paid for your work."

"It's really nothing, I'm more than happy to - "

"Hush now, child, and let me pay you."

Instantly I fell silent, her tone reminiscent of my own grandparents. She continued to feel in the pockets of her red housecoat before huffing in frustration.

"Well, now I've gone and said I'd pay you and I haven't a red cent on me." She considered for a moment. "Well, how about a nice breakfast? Perhaps I can tempt you with that?" She eyed me carefully, still hefting the cauliflower.

I glanced down at my watch. With Pierre's being closed I wouldn't be able to buy any more seeds today anyway. I nodded.

"That would be lovely Evel- Granny." She smiled, and tugged at my arm, leading me back to her house.

The interior was bright and cheery, filled with the smell of fresh coffee. I took a deep breath, drinking it in. She smiled and retrieved a mug from an ancient china cabinet, filling it from the old-fashioned percolator perched on the range and pressing it into my hands.

"Now you sit right down there and I'll have some bacon up for you in just a bit." The woman wobbled towards her stove and had a cast iron pan filled with meat in a matter of moments. "Awful early for a child your age to be out, yes?" she asked over her shoulder as I sipped at the coffee.

"Farm hours are early," I said, shrugging. "I guess it wouldn't have mattered if Pierre was closed today - he wouldn't be open for another few hours."

"That's true," she replied, turning and sliding a plate filled with bacon and eggs in front of me. It smelled heavenly.

"Thank you, Evelyn. It looks delicious."

"Nonsense, dear, it's nothing. Besides, you've given me this lovely cauliflower. I'll have to find something nice to do with it for tonight. Alex does love cheese cauliflower on occasion - " she trailed off as she opened the refrigerator and began to search through the drawers.

"Alex?" I asked, around a mouthful of eggs. I coughed, swallowed, and tried again. "The gridball guy?"

"Oh, you've met my grandson?" she asked, turning. I nodded. I'd spoke to him a time or two, talked sports, although my knowledge of that was sorely lacking.

"He lives with you?" I finished.

"Yes, ever since his mother passed. That's what - almost twelve years ago now?"

My heart fell into my stomach, and I instantly felt queasy. His mother was dead, too? I thought of the framed photo propped up on my mantlepiece in the cabin, mom's funeral picture. Suddenly the eggs tasted like ash. 

Since coming to the valley, mom's death had seemed to fade, like I was finally beginning to heal. For weeks after her funeral, I could barely pull myself out of bed to go to work, and only the thought of impending bills got me on my feet.  I'd cut off contact with most of my friends, sick of questions regarding my well-being.  But here, they didn't know.  They didn't ask awkward questions. I felt like I finally had a reason to get up in the morning.  I didn't think of her every moment, found myself smiling more, happier. But it all came crashing back down.  I wasn't going to escape even here, was I?

"- blasted man, treated her like trash, and then she got so sick -" Evelyn was saying, oblivious. I felt tears begin to burn at the back of my throat. _Yoba take it,_ I seethed silently, my hands shaking as I gripped the table.   _Keep it together!_

"I'm sorry, Granny," I said thickly, trying to talk around the lump that seemed to have formed in my windpipe. I pushed the plate away and stood awkwardly. "I - I need to go. Thank you for breakfast." Before she could protest I turned away.  

I staggered towards the door and out into the brisk morning air, trying to curtail the sobs that were building in my chest. The basket of cauliflower still rested on the cobblestones outside of Pierre's - I could grab it and head back to the farm. The day was ruined now anyway.

Through the haze of tears, I barely made out a green flash before I slammed face first into someone.

"Woah, now, slow down a bit," a soothing baritone voice said. I felt the words rumbling and I jerked back, realizing I was pressed against the man's chest and could feel the vibrations of his speech through the thin fabric of his shirt.

"I'm sorry - so sorry - " I hiccuped, pushing myself backwards. He grabbed my shoulders as I pulled back, taking a good look at me. I glanced up and groaned. I'd ran smack into Harvey, the doctor. _Just what I need right now._

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern writ large across his face. I shook my head and yanked myself out of his grip.

"No - I can't - I'm sorry, I can't talk now - " I stuttered. I snatched up my basket of vegetables and shoved past him, dropping a few on the ground.

"Miss - " he called, bending to scoop up one of the cauliflowers.

I didn't turn back as I blindly raced towards the path that led back to the farm.


	5. Chapter 5

I could feel the humidity building, banishing the final vestiges of the cool morning air. My straggling hair began to stick to my neck as I lugged the bushel towards the copse of trees that divided town from my farm.

My shoulders shook under the strain of the weight and I pushed forward, trying to ignore the trembling spreading down my back and towards my legs. Tears clouded my vision and I suddenly found it hard to breathe. I didn't see the pothole in the road until my ankle slipped into it. With a cry I collapsed, ankle twisting sideways with an angry sounding pop and my basket hitting the ground. Cauliflower scattered across the path.

 _It's not fair!_ I wailed internally, trying not to make a sound as I gingerly pulled my foot from the hole. Already the limb was turning an angry red color and swelling. Pain lanced up my leg and I could no longer stem the sobs. My body convulsed, huge wracking pains as I buried my head in my hands.

The sizzle in the air was my only warning. A crackle of lightning filled the air and I jumped, scrambling to my feet and crying out as my weight settled on my sore ankle. What little of the sky I could see through the trees was turning an ominous purple-black. All around me the trees began to whip and groan as the wind began to pick up. A storm was coming. Another rumble of thunder shook the valley and I hastily began to scoop up the cauliflower that littered the path, dumping an armload of heads into the battered bushel and limping down the path towards the farm house.

The rain began to fall in great silver sheets as I passed through the last section of trees. I hobbled up the steps and fell against the door, dropping my basket just inside. My clothes dripped, leaving a damp trail across the wooden floor as I moved to start a fire. My nose ran and I scrubbed at my face with my hands as the first match fizzled. Finally, a half-dozen matches and some cursing later, I had a small fire burning and I crouched, hands held out, as the water dripped from me. Some of it might have been tears.

The wind wailed in the chimney and the fire spat as a few errant raindrops were blown down the flue. Wearily I stood and braced myself against the mantle, allowing the warmth of the fire to soak into my midsection and legs. Steam rose from my clothes. At least the mud had washed off my boots. I propped my head on my folded arms and stared at the photos on the mantlepiece. Mom's picture was there, her small smile doing nothing for the dark pit that had opened in my stomach. It didn't really matter how far I ran, I suppose. No matter where I went, whether I had stayed in the city and slaved for Joja until I died, if I'd hopped a plan to Gotoro and vanished into the mountains, or if I completely lost my mind and decided to take over a tumbledown farm in the middle of nowhere. Wherever I went, she was still going to be gone. I sighed heavily, finally all cried out. The breath ruffled the edges of a tiny dried posy of sweet-peas, the bouquet that Marnie's little niece had given me weeks ago.

Thunder clapped once again and I jumped slightly. I turned and looked at one of the front windows. The rain seemed to be slacking off, one of those bluster-and-boom storms that came and went quickly. It would probably rumble all through the afternoon and drizzle, but the major rain had ended. I sighed. At least I hadn't bought seeds that morning, I decided. Now I could dig out that little camp kettle and make some tea, crawl back into bed and hopefully start everything fresh tomorrow.

I staggered towards the wooden chest in the corner where I had stored all of my gear, still mindful of my twinging ankle. I should probably wrap it up, maybe stick a pillow under it. I popped the latch and rummaged around, looking for the metal kettle. I filled the pot with water and tucked it up against the fire, then eased myself into one of the chairs to wait for it to boil. Just as I sat, a knock came at the door.

I started and stared at the front of the house. Was it more thunder? Maybe a branch had blown loose and was smacking against the porch. I hesitated, then jumped up as someone knocked again.

"Hello?"

I heard the voice that time, pitched over the sound of rain heavy on the roof. Who was out here in the storm? Bracing myself against the wall, I tugged the door open. On my front porch, holding an armful of slightly muddy cauliflower and sopping wet, was Harvey.

"Doctor?" I asked, startled.

"I'm sorry to barge in," he said, shifting the armload of vegetables and sending a cascade of water across his shoes. "You dropped these."

"It's pouring rain, you didn't have to bring them back to me," I said. "Good grief, get in here, you're soaked." I pulled the door wide and he stepped inside.

"It's really no trouble, I don't mind a little wet," he said, depositing the cauliflower into the basket by the door. He pulled his glasses off his face and ruffled in his pocket, tugging out a sodden handkerchief. He frowned at it, shoved his glasses back on, and wrung out the square of cloth.

"Here -" I said, grabbing up a tee shirt from the table and holding out a hand. He looked over and hesitantly handed me his glasses. Quickly I rubbed the fabric over the lenses and handed them back.

"Ah. That's better," he said, blinking at me. He smiled, a small, awkward, but genuine expression. "Like I said, sorry to show up so unexpectedly. I had that one head that you dropped outside the clinic and I headed after you to return it, but you'd moved down the path so quickly. Then there seemed to be more scattered down the road, and it didn't seem right to leave your harvest to rot in the woods."

"Thank you," I said, twisting the shirt in my hands. He looked at me a little quizzically, then cleared his throat.

"I - ah, well, I also noticed you seemed - distressed - when you left town this morning?" he said haltingly. "I thought I'd check and see if you were all right?"

I paled - he'd noticed that I was crying. Figures. I felt my shoulders slump, and I turned away so he couldn't see my embarrassment. The pot on the fire was hissing, and I used that as a convenient excuse to shuffle away from the doctor.

"Er, well, to be honest," I said, trying to force a note of levity into my voice. "I'm not. Would you care for some tea?" I scooped up one of the mismatched mugs I'd found in some of grandpa's old things and held it up.

Harvey looked at me, a clear look of concern evident on his face.

"Yes, thank you, that would be nice."

I nodded and jerked my chin at the table.

"Feel free to have a seat." I shuffled across the room to the chest, digging around for a box of teabags I'd stuffed in there earlier. As I did, though, a twinge went through my bad ankle and I felt it give. I grunted in pain, quickly trying to stifle the noise.

"What have you done to your leg?" Harvey asked, pausing halfway into sitting in one of the chairs. _Nothing got past the blasted man_ , I thought, sighing.

"Caught it in a hole this morning. It's not a big deal."

"Nonsense. Let me take a look at it - "

"Honestly, it's probably just a little sprain - "

"I'm the doctor, I'll decide that. Sit."

The awkwardness in his voice was gone, replaced by a note of confidence that only came from knowing that your commands would be obeyed. I wondered if that was something they taught in medical school - every doctor I knew had that same tone. I limped to the table with mugs, teabags, and kettle, and sat heavily in the other chair. Harvey had already stood, removing his sodden green jacket and draping it over the footboard of my bed where it could dry by the fire. I carefully removed my sock and propped my foot in the opposing chair. He gripped the back of my foot and pulled it towards himself. His hand was cool and still a little damp.

He prodded at the swollen flesh for a moment, flexing my toes and feeling the delicate bones. He frowned, the expression tugging at his mustache. Finally, he replaced the foot on the chair and nodded.

"Yes, looks like a minor sprain. You'll need to keep it elevated, put some compression on it. I have some ace bandages at the clinic - "

"I think I have some," I said.

"Oh.  I suppose a good first aid kit is important to have on the farm.  But regardless, you should stop by soon if the pain and swelling don't go down and I can take another look. Go easy on it." He walked around behind me to retrieve the third chair and sat, accepting the mug I pushed towards him. "Now, about your - emotional distress - ?" he eyed me over the rim of the mug. I swore mentally. Nothing got past him!

"I - I don't know if you've heard the rumors about me - " I started, unsure. I'd met most everyone in town, but the doctor had been one of the more aloof ones. I'd had only a passing acquaintance with him the first night at the saloon, and seen him occasionally near the bridge to the beach.

"Not really. I'm not much for gossip." He smiled. "Frankly, I don't even know your name. Everyone in town just calls you 'the new farmer'"

I shrugged. Honestly, he was the first one to ask. No one seemed bothered that I'd been loathe to introduce myself, they seemed content with the 'Farmer' moniker.

"My grandfather left me the place when he died," I said, opting to answer my own question rather than his. "I only found the letter recently and decided I was done working a dead-end job in the city. It seemed like the right time."

"But it wasn't." He didn't seem to be asking a question, but I shook my head in agreement, staring down into my mug. The teabag had long since released it's full supply of tea, leaving a dark brown liquid. I played with the string.

"My mother died. A few months back. It's been hard adjusting, you know? She was all I had. Then I lost the Joja job - they just kicked me out. It was just too much. And then this morning, at Evelyn's, she was talking about her daughter dying and - " I felt tears begin to prickle again and slammed my mug down, trying to forestall them. I was so tired of crying, especially in front of someone else.

To my surprise, Harvey reached over and laid a hand atop mine.

"It's alright," he said softly. "I'm not trained in the mental health field, but if you need someone to talk to about it - " he trailed off. Gently I pulled my hand free, and he quickly removed his own.

"I - it's - I'm okay." I stuttered, taking a long pull at my mug. The tea was cold.

Harvey made a humming sound in his throat, then cleared it again.

"Well, if you change your mind, feel free to stop by the clinic. I should probably get going, the rain seems to have stopped."

I looked up, surprised to see sunlight streaming through the window once again. I nodded and swung my foot back down to the floor, wincing as it landed on the floorboards.

"Go easy on that ankle," he added as he scooped up his jacket.

"I - what do I owe for the house call?" I asked, pushing myself upright. He laughed and shook his head.

"No, no that's quite alright -" but his eyes drifted towards the basket of cauliflower.

"They seem to be a popular currency today," I said, "I got breakfast for one."

"Honestly, that's okay. Although, if you ever got around to pickling some - " He trailed off.

"I'll keep you in mind, doc."  _Pickled cauliflower? Gross._

He smiled and put a hand on the doorknob.

"Remember to stop by so I can look at your ankle." he added, tugging open the door.

"Will do. It's Beth, by the way."

He paused, then turned back to look at me.

"Beth?"

"My name. No one else seemed interested in knowing it but you."

"Oh. Well, nice to meet you, Beth."

He smiled as he stepped out into the sunlight, and pulled the door closed behind himself.


	6. Chapter 6

  
The reek of the tide pools filled my nose. Overhead the gulls squawked and screamed at one another, fighting over some scrap of unfortunate fish. I shuffled my feet through the sand, dislodging tiny bits of shell and coral as I went along. Another scallop revealed itself and I hastily scooped it into my bag.

This section of beach had turned out to be a treasure trove of shells and seafood. Honestly, it was more than worth every piece of wood that cantankerous old fisherman asked for to repair the old bridge. Of course, the fix looked more like a few planks propped over the gap and I noticed how the cabin on the docks looked suspiciously new in places...

Finally, I gave up the search and trekked back over the same bridge, the sandy grating sound of the shells in my bag a very satisfying one.

The sun was low on the horizon, sending gilded ribbons across the top of the calm surf. It was beautiful, but I groaned. I'd let time get away from me again and it would be well past dark before I got home. Robin had been trying to get the electric working in the farmhouse again but the wiring was ancient and pretty fried. She'd said it would take some major overhaul. Until then I was stuck making do with the open fireplace and a few candles I'd scrounged up.

All of this meant it would be unlikely I'd get any substantial dinner tonight. Cooking by candlelight led to a lot of messy spills and a still-painful slice to my right thumb. Crossing the stone bridge that led back to the village, my stomach complained loudly.

"My, what an insistent sound," a voice said behind me. A jerked a little in surprise and glanced back over my shoulder. A shock of auburn hair glittered like copper in the twilight.

"Hullo Elliott."

"It's a lovely evening for a stroll, but I don't often see you this late. What brings you here this time of day?" he asked, leaning casually against the stone wall.

"Ugh, I was picking up clams and whatnot down on the beach. Time sort of got away from me though." My stomach gave another pathetic grumble.

"I'm no farmer," he said, peering at me through the semi-darkness, "but it seems to me that's a profession that requires nourishment."

"I'm fine, really. I have some crackers back at the farm - " at the thought of such meager pickings, though, my stomach gave a third, demanding growl. "Hush, you," I snapped.

Elliott burst out laughing. I was taken slightly aback - he had struck me as very reserved and dignified, but his laughter was loud and unrestrained. I cracked a smile of my own.

"Well, in that instance, shall I accompany you to the saloon? I'm sure the good landlord would be happy to whip something up for the hungry farmer."

"The saloon?" I asked. Sure, I'd expected some nuts or pretzels at a bar, but actual food? The pubs in the city never had much in the way of food.

"Oh yes, our Gus is quite the chef. Doesn't get the opportunity to practice his craft as much as I'm sure he'd like, being in a town with the likes of Pam or Shane. But on occasion, he has been known to step back into the kitchen."

I hadn't realized it, but as we were talking Elliott had gently led me off the bridge and back into town. The twilight had faded into proper dark and we walked by the light of the lamps. As we approached the saloon I smelled something delicious. Elliott laughed again as I inhaled deeply and followed the scent towards the door.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said, hopping up the few steps and pushing open the door for me. Instantly warmth and color washed over me, the enticing scent and the sound of music from the jukebox drawing me in.  

"Evening, Elliott," Gus called from behind the counter, filling a heavy mug with something frothy. He handed it over to Leah, who nodded at Elliott.

"Well, if it isn't Sir Poet," she said, tossing her long braid over her shoulder. "What's drug you from your inspired seclusion?"

Elliott clapped a hand theatrically over his heart as he approached her.

"You wound me! I am escorting our fair farmer, who seems to have lost her way, and is near perishing with hunger!"

Gallantly he slung an arm over my shoulder and I slumped slightly under the weight. Leah caught my eye and grinned.

"Elliott, you're going to crush the poor girl - " she said, pushing at him. His arm slid off my neck and he turned, a look of abject horror on his face.

"My lady!"

"Oh knock it off, Shakespeare," Leah finished, laughing. She pulled out a chair at a nearby table and indicated that I could take it, then sat herself. I eased myself into it as Elliott headed towards the counter.

"Don't mind him, he tends to get all flowery," she said, sipping at her drink. "He means well, though, and it can be entertaining. Moreso if he's drunk."

"Oh?" I said, intrigued. I was interrupted, though, when Elliott returned with a dish. He'd placed a plain bowl over the top of it and whipped it off with a flourish as he set it on the table.

"Tom Kha soup," he announced, tucking both hands behind his back. "One of my particular favorites." He gave a deep bow with much waving of hands and trotted back towards the counter with the extra bowl.

"Wow, he didn't buy _me_ his favorite soup on our first date," Leah said, watching from over the rim of her mug.

"I - what? We're not -" I spluttered, spoon halfway to my mouth. Leah grinned.

"Oh, I know. Elliott's actually pretty shy in that regard.You're just easy to rile up."

"Are you two - ?" I managed to ask, putting the spoon down and looking around for a napkin. Leah handed me the one she was using as a coaster.

"Eh. It's hard to say. We've never made anything really official, but we certainly spend some time together. And in a small town, you start spending time together, people start noticing." She shrugged. "But I'm pretty dedicated to my artwork and his only mistress is the page." She threw back her mug and swallowed the dregs. "Well, that's about it for me for the night. Take care." She stood and headed towards the door, taking the opportunity to tug on Elliott's hair before she left.

"How's the soup?" he asked as he returned to the table, carefully patting his hair back into place.

"Delicious," I said. He smiled. "Thank you, you really didn't have to - "

"Not at all," he said, raising a hand. I hastily slurped up a few more spoonfuls, then stood myself.

"I really do need to head back, though. It's late, and I have to be up early."

"Farm hours are truly odious," he said, cryptically.

"Er, yes. Thank you, Elliott. I'll see you around?" He nodded and stood as I left. I made my way across the cobblestone square and towards the forest path. A thin mist began to rise around my ankles, the cool night air reacting with the sunbaked stones. A light glittered at me from one of the windows - the apartment above the clinic. I stopped for a moment, peering up at it. Leah's words echoed in my mind. _People start to notice..._

I shrugged my bag higher up on my shoulders and headed towards home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elliott/Leah is probably my favorite of the pairings not involving the player character. I also really like Elliott, he seems like the kind of falsely pretentious person who would enjoy being over dramatic at every occasion


	7. Chapter 7

My days fell into a sort of routine. Wake up, bank the fire so I didn't have to start it up again at night. Sort of shake the blankets over the bed - if someone came to visit, they basically had to sit in my bedroom. Least I could do was make it presentable. Get dressed. Water the crops. Clint said something about being able to get new watering cans with a bigger head on them, letting me water more than one plant at a time. I'd salivated over the shiny copper can the last time I was in the shop but hadn't had the money on hand. Instead I watered each plant with careful precision and no small amount of annoyance. 

Robin waved at me across the field. She'd been working for a few days on a small chicken coop.

"Morning, Farmer!" she called, waving her hammer over her head. I waved back and trotted towards the coop, hopping over my rows of plants to get there. 

"How goes it?" I asked eagerly. I'd been looking forward to the coop and having a few chickens, especially having the fresh eggs every day. Those were simple enough to cook over the fire and better than the cold cereal I had most days for whatever meal I remembered to eat. 

"Should be done tomorrow, I think. Few more rows of shingles to put down and hang the livestock door." She laid a hand against the wooden siding and nodded, pleased. "You'll have enough room for probably four hens. Get you started at least." 

"I don't know that I'd want to start with more than four, that's for sure. Maybe just one for now." I said, kneeling to inspect the tiny opening that the birds would use to get in and out. 

"Your mail's run, by the way," Robin said, tugging a step ladder across the packed dirt to clamber higher on the roof. I glanced back towards the house and saw the little flag peeking up over the mailbox. 

"Thanks," I said, dusting my knees off as I headed towards the box. I sifted through the mail quickly - a letter from my dad, who was traveling overseas, a leaflet from Pierre's, and an official looking piece of folded parchment with a wax seal. I frowned - it reminded me a lot of the letter I'd gotten from Grandpa. Quickly I ran a nail under the seal. It was an invitation. To a dance.

Instantly my heart sank. A dance? With partners? I'd barely been here long enough to grow some strawberries, how was I supposed to find a dance partner? I hastily ran through a list of people in my mind, trying to think of anyone I could consider asking without making a fool of myself. I'd barely spoken to Sam or Sebastian. Alex would no doubt be dancing with Haley. Elliott crossed my mind, but he and Leah were - well, complicated. 

A pair of green eyes behind thick-rimmed glasses floated through my mind, gentle fingers feeling the bones of my foot, deftly checking for further injury. A warm laugh, concern in his voice as he spoke. Harvey...? 

I shook my head and shoved the letter in my pocket, thinking hard. Robin said my coop would be done tomorrow, right? So I could go and see about getting a few chicks, and if anyone asked I could say I was acclimating them, I didn't have time to go to a silly little dance. Perfect. 

I headed for the path leading into the Cindersap forest and Marnie's ranch. She'd said she had a few hens on nests earlier in the week - if I stopped by soon, there might be chick ready to go. Alongside the path a clump of daffodils caught my eye - I scooped it up. Marnie's little niece loved flowers. 

The bell over her door jangled as I stepped inside.

"Good morning, Farmer!" Marnie called from her kitchen. She poked her head around the doorway, a mug in one hand. "I'll be right with you." 

"No worries, just checking on those chicks you were talking about - "

"Oh! Yes, of course. I'll get Shane, he's got a few hens ready to go." Whatever was in her cup she downed quickly and bustled off down the hall. 

I heard a door open behind me and the sound of someone yawning.

"Hullo Miss Farmer," a young, sleepy voice said. I turned and saw Jas, still dressed in her nightgown, rubbing at her eyes with one fist.

"Hullo Jas," I replied. "How are you?"

"Mmmm. Sleepy," she murmured. "What are you doing here?" 

"Your aunt said she had some chicks I might be able to put in my coop." 

Jas' eyes brightened. 

"Some of Uncle Shane's chicks? Oh, they're good little chickens. You'll take good care of them?" 

"Of course," I said. "Here, I've brought you something." I dug around in my pack for the daffodils and presented the posey to her. Instantly she was alert.

"Daffodils!" she cried, sticking her nose into the blossoms and inhaling deeply. "Flowers are my favorite, thank you, Miss Farmer!" She reached up to tuck one of the flowers into her dark hair, then seemed to think better of it. "No, I'll get some water and save them for tomorrow. Miss Haley always wears flowers in her hair for the Flower Dance, and now I can too!" She looked up at me, eyes shining. "Are you going to the dance?" 

I thought guiltily of the invitation crumpled in the bottom of my bag. 

"Well, I did get an invite - "

"Oh, you have to go! It's always so pretty. I'm not old enough to dance yet, but someday I'll be the prettiest dancer at the dance." 

She grabbed up two handfuls of her nightgown and began to swirl them back and forth, like the voluminous skirts of a ballgown. As she spoke, Marnie and Shane returned, Shane clutching a peeping bundle of feathers. 

"Here you are - " Marnie paused, watching her niece waltz across the floor. "What's going on here?" 

"We were talking about the Flower Dance!" Jas said excitedly. "Miss Farmer brought me some flowers to wear." She grinned, holding up the bouquet. "Uncle Shane, you should ask Miss Farmer to dance tomorrow!" 

Shane, still holding the chick, made a choking sound. He glanced at me, then down at the floor. 

"I - no, that's quite alright - I'm probably not even going -" I stammered, waving both of my hands.

"No, I mean, I'm sure she already has a partner - " Shane said simultaneously. There was a brief pause. "What do you mean, not going?" He asked.

"Oh, you know. I'm still pretty new, lots to do on the farm. New chick - " I gestured to the squirming creature in his hands. He harrumphed and handed me the chick. It continued to wriggle for a second before turning it's tiny head and staring up at me, then giving a single pathetic peep. 

"Well, it's sort of tradition." he continued. "I've not been here that long myself, and I still go. Under protest," he added, under his breath. "Look, I wouldn't suggest you take that little one home quite yet if the coop isn't finished. I'll run her over in the morning if you like, though." 

"Um, okay, sure. Thanks, Shane." He shrugged and stomped towards the door that led to the barnyard. 

"Now Jas - " Marnie said as her nephew retreated. "It's not polite to say things like that." 

"Like what?" Jas asked innocently. I glanced from aunt to niece, then quickly excused myself. 

***

I had to admit, the little meadow where the dance was was beautiful, just as Jas had said. Flower garlands stretched between fence posts, the grass was littered with petals, and the air was redolent with something Gus was portioning out on one of the long, white-clothed tables. 

"It's an old tradition," Pierre was saying, passing over the leaflet that explained the seeds required to make a certain type of flower arrangement. I tucked it into my pocket. "I remember dancing with Caroline years and years ago. She was quite lovely." He smiled at the memory. "Of course, now it's just for you young single folk. Us old codgers get to watch from the sidelines." He glanced over to where his daughter Abigail waited, then looked me over carefully. "Are you not dancing?" 

Around the meadow waited the dancers, the women all clad in matching white dresses. I looked down at my own clothes then shrugged. I'd done what I could to look nice, scrounging out an actual skirt, but it was nothing like the elegant gowns the other girls were wearing. 

"Seems all the partners are taken," I said, a little sadly. Music flared behind me and I watched as Emily snagged Shane by the arm and drug him into the square. Elliott bowed to Leah and offered a hand, and she gave him a mocking little curtsy in return. Harvey twisted his hands in knots, purposefully staring at the ground until Maru approached him. They both shared a look of gratitude and slowly made their way into the line. I looked down at my feet, wishing I had decided to stay at the farm with the new chicken. 

"Maybe next year," Pierre said, watching Abigail curtsy to Sebastian. 

"Yeah," I said, scuffing at the dirt with one toe. "Maybe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sort of vaguely following the 30 day challenge here, just for ideas. Hope that's not making things too disjointed.


	8. Chapter 8

I heard the footsteps on the stairs and froze, suddenly wide awake. _Oh please, not today._ I'd been up way too late in the mines the night before, dragging myself home barely before two and falling comatose into bed. I dug myself deeper into the mattress and pulled the blanket over my head, thumbing the switch on my watch and wincing as the light brightened the little cave I'd made. 5:30. _Still a half hour I could sleep -_

"Hallo?"

_Dammit, Marnie!_ I threw off the blanket and sat up, scrubbing both hands across the top of my scalp, yanking out a sizeable amount of long, red hair, and huffing. What was that cursed woman doing up so early? When I didn't immediately reply or open the door, she proceeded to bang heavily on the door frame.

"Hallo? Anyone home?"

"'m comin, Marn," I managed thickly, stuffing my feet into a pair of ratty sandals next to the door and tugging it open. Marnie had her hand raised for another volley of knocks and jumped back slightly at the violent interruption.

"Ah, there you are!" she said brightly, dropping the fist. "I thought I might have missed you, thought you might already be off for the day." I glanced down at myself, my sloppy, oversized tee-shirt and cotton pants, hair in a bird's nest, and drooping red eyes. I sighed.

"What can I do for you, Marnie?" I asked, rubbing a hand across my eyes to try and clear them. I yawned and grabbed at my jaw as it cracked.

"Well, I woke up to the strangest sound this morning - " she said, turning and producing a cardboard box. "I thought it was one of the calves, but it turned out I had a visitor in the barn," she popped open one of the flaps and a tiny orange head poked out. The kitten stared up at me and mewed. "Normally I'd keep her around, to catch the mice and whatnot, but with Shane's new chicks I couldn't bear to keep her out in the barn and chance something happening. You have that nice new coop, though, and I thought maybe you could do with some company - "

As Marnie prattled, I reached into the box with trembling hands. The kitten, more of a half-grown cat, I thought, maybe six months or so, rubbed her head against my hand and started purring. She let me pick her up and I cradled her to my chest, scratching under her chin. She closed her eyes in contentment and kneaded at my arm softly.

"Well, I see that won't really be a problem then," Marnie said, a little shocked but sounding pleased. "You've had cats before?"

"When I was young," I said, stroking the orange fur. "A black one. Her name was Spooky."

"Proper name for a black cat." Marnie nodded. "What will you call this one?"

I thought for a moment, holding the orange cat out in front of me in contemplation. She batted at my nose.

"Molly," I finally said, and the cat slowly closed her eyes, as if in agreement.

"Molly?" Marnie asked.

"After my mother," I said. Mom would have liked that, she always liked cats.

"Well, that's just lovely, then," Marnie added. She nodded and scooped up the box, tucking it under her arm. "I'll be heading back then, you two settle in."

As Marnie made her way back down the steps and through the southern field, I heard the alarm clock in the house begin to chatter. I groaned - there went my extra half-hour of sleep. Molly mewled at me, and I carried her into the house, setting her on the bed.

"What am I going to do with a cat?" I asked, peering at the orange ball of fluff occupied in making herself a nest in my comforter. She chirped lightly and curled into a ball. "I haven't any food, or a collar, or anything. I rubbed at my forehead in exasperation. Every time I thought I was getting ahead, something else had to come up.

Molly raised her head and gave a little squeak, then settled into a deep purr.

Nervous about the small animal in my house, I didn't stray far. The new chicken in the coop pecked at the hay I threw into the feeding trough, but decidedly did _not_ give me a nice fresh egg. I frowned and headed back towards the farmhouse and the closest rows of crops. Every few minutes I found myself peeking in the door, watching as Molly took a long nap, then stretched and began examining her new home. I finally opened the door and she marched onto the porch, twining between my legs and settling on the steps to watch me stake up a row of green beans.

When my watch showed 9:30, I threw my tools against the porch and scooped up the sunbathing cat, depositing her inside the house. Then I headed off down the path towards town, hoping Pierre had a section of pet supplies that I just hadn't seen yet.

An hour later, a much lighter wallet and a promise of a half-dozen eggs once my hen started laying, Pierre had managed to provide me with most of the things I'd need for Molly. A canvas tote dangled from my arm filled with a collar and a few heavy pottery bowls, and a heavy bag of dry kibble was perched on my shoulder and I had to brace my back against the door to get out of the shop.

"Oof," someone said as I opened the door directly into them. I promptly dropped everything I was carrying, sending a few mouse toys bouncing through the square.

"I'm so sorry - Harvey?"

The doctor rubbed at his nose, his glasses askew, where I had whapped him with the door. He winced and focused hard on me. "Oh gosh, are you okay?" I asked. Leave it to me to give the doctor a concussion!

"Yes, yes, I'm perfectly fine," he said, one hand bracing himself on the doorway. I found myself trapped between his arm and the open door, the bag of cat food balanced precariously on my toes. He blinked a few times, then looked down at me. It astounded me that the most unassuming man in town was also the tallest, towering over my already tall frame by several inches. It made him easy to pick out in a crowd, that was for sure. Not that I'd been looking for him or anything -

"Oh! Beth!" he said, and immediately stepped aside. I kicked at the bag of food, knocking it aside so I could chase after the multicolored cat toys scattered around on the cobbles.

"I'm so sorry, Harvey, I couldn't see anything coming out the door!" I said, clutching the mice in one hand. He had hefted the bag of food and was reading the label with some interest.

"Interesting crop you're preparing for here," he said with a small smile. "Have you always had a cat?" I shook my head.

"No, just since this morning. Marnie brought her over, said she found her in her barn." I stuffed the mice into my pocket and slipped my arms through the straps of the tote, then held out my hands for the bag of food. Harvey continued to look at the package for a moment.

"I've always been fond of cats - " he said, mustache twitching as he thought. "The apartment's never been quite right to have one though." His voice grew sad.

"Er, well, Molly seems pretty friendly, if you'd ever like to come visit?"

He seemed to consider.

"I've got a bit before the clinic opens. Was going to get a cup of coffee at Pierre's, but if you need some help carrying this home - ?"

"I've got Grandpa's old percolator working now. I think I could give you that cup of coffee there if you'd like."

He smiled and shouldered the bag of food.

"Well then.  Lead on," he said, gesturing towards the path. "What kind of cat is she?"

"Orange," I said, and he laughed. "No, really, that's the best I've got. Um, fuzzy?"

From the corner of my eye, I saw a door open as we crossed the square, and Evelyn emerged with her watering can. She hobbled towards the flowerbeds near the path, then stopped. She said nothing, but a slow smile spread across her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think it's time to put a pairing tag on here yet?


	9. Chapter 9

It rained a lot around this place.

Not that I was complaining, every day of rain was another day that I did not have to water each individual mound of dirt in my field. The first few little tendrils of blueberry and melon plants were just beginning to poke above the soil, and I watched from the front window as they thirstily soaked up the droplets of rain.

Molly mewed from the basket I'd put next to my bed. It was stuffed with a few t-shirts that I'd bundled up, at least until I could get a better cushion. She didn't seem to mind. As I passed by she raised her head and I scratched between her ears, then sat on the edge of my bed and pulled on my boots. It was going to be too wet today to till anymore, and the fallen tree by the lower pond I'd been hacking at in my free time could wait until the sun came out again.

Instead, I snatched up my backpack and an ancient umbrella I'd found in some of grandpa's stuff and headed into town.

The square was silent, the only sound the raindrops striking the cobblestones. The light in Pierre's shop cast a dim halo around the door and windows, echoed in the lanterns that stayed lit even at this early hour. No one seemed to be out and about, though I could see smoke puffing from George and Evelyn's chimney and the smell of some kind of roasting meat surrounded the saloon.

I walked south and then along the river, enjoying the quiet plops of rain on the water's surface. The low croak of a bullfrog startled me and I jumped, barely missing squashing him. He stared up at me with reproach, then hopped back down to the water's edge where he was safer. I hastened my stride and hurried towards the pool of light leaking from the library.

Gunther smiled as I opened the door and carefully shook my umbrella, finally giving up and leaning it against the wall just inside where it could drip on the stone entry way.

"I'll mop that up," I whispered to the curator.

"Don't worry about it. Have you brought anything for the collection?" He asked, leaning forward over the desk eagerly. I shrugged off my back and ruffled through it, sending a cloud of coal dust across the floor. After a moment's digging I produced a clump of purple crystals and a very damp, very sandy book.

"Found this one on the beach," I said, sliding the book across the counter. Gunther picked it up by one corner and grimaced. A strip of seaweed slid out from the cover and landed with a splat.

"I'm going to stop checking books out," he muttered, thumbing through the pages and brushing damp sand from the spine. "Only read them inside. No more books outside!"

"I'll, ah, just find a spot for this?" I said, inching slowly away from the angry librarian. He glanced up over the lenses of his glasses as I raised the knot of crystals.

"Oh, an amethyst!" he said, pushing the book aside and holding out a hand. "Did you find this in the mines?"

"No, actually. Dredged up an old box when I was fishing and it was inside." I shrugged. "Guess it was someone's old treasure chest or something. Weird."

Gunther laughed and raised the portion of the counter that allowed him to exit.

"Come with me, young farmer. I think I have a place ready for this."

He led me through the stacks to the museum area and opened the glass case. A small, empty plinth rested inside with a brass placard. Carefully he polished the stone with a handkerchief and settled it onto the stand.

"Yes, very nice," he said, nodding as he closed the door. "Thank you, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to have help refilling the cases."

"Not a problem, I'm a bit of a gem nerd anyway," I said, smiling. We both turned as the door opened.

"Well, I'd best get back to the front desk. Again, thank you."

I heard Gunther's footsteps fade into the distance, then the sound of him greeting someone. I wandered through the museum, investigating the assorted gemstones I'd pulled from the mines or had Clint pry out of geodes. There were still a lot of empty plinths.

"Hello, farmer." I saw a pair of glasses reflected in one of the cases and I turned.

"Oh! Hi, Maru." She leaned forward to inspect the case.

"Nice amethyst," she said. We both stood in silence for a moment, shooting glances at one another in the glass. I'd barely spoken to her in the months since I had arrived; the occasionally greeting when I visited Robin's, seeing her at the clinic or around town. Other than that, though, we were strangers.

Finally, she turned and looked at me closely. I awkwardly met her gaze, not used to such scrutiny.

"You be nice to him," she said, crossing her arms.

"I - what?"

"You be nice to the doctor. He's a good guy, he deserves some happiness." She continued to stare me down, her eyes intense behind her thick glasses.

"Maru, I - we, er, I barely know him!" I protested. She scoffed, tossing some of her braids over her shoulder.

"Ha, you don't work with him!" she smiled slyly and I turned. "He came in last week, mud on his shoes and a bigger smile on his face than I've seen in years. Talking about someone named Molly, I was really confused for a while. Finally got it out of him that he was talking about your cat."

My heart clenched painfully.

"Oh, the cat? Yeah, he came and visited, threw her mouse for her a few times," I said, feeling oddly disappointed. Why wouldn't he talk about a cat, he said he loved cats. _He wasn't talking about you, though..._ A fleeting voice whispered, and I felt something inside shrivel. Maru smirked.

"Mmhmm. The cat, and the coffee, and the cauliflower." She leaned against the case and I heard the glass creak dangerously. "You know, he's got a big calendar up on the wall behind the office where he keeps track of everyone's check-up dates. I mark them up there every year. But a few days ago someone went riffling through my drawers and pulled out some files, and now there's a new name written up on the wall in big blue letters. He checks it every day." Maru gave me a penetrating look. "I haven't seen him this excited about a check-up ever."

I stared at the floor, feeling a strange warmth climbing up into my face. Wait, was I _blushing?!_

"Anyway, he told me if I saw you, to let you know you're due for a checkup day after tomorrow," she finished, relaxing her stance.

"I - um, thanks, Maru." I looked up in time to see a broad grin stretch across her face. I reached down to grab up my forgotten backpack and shuffled past her. "I'll see you around."

"See you, farm girl," she said, waving.

I pushed my way back outside, scooping up the umbrella by the front door. The rain had slackened, and only a thin drizzle remained. Just over the path back to the farm, a slender beam of light broke through the clouds.

The day after tomorrow.

I smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ta-da, pair tag


	10. Chapter 10

  
I stood outside the door to the clinic, a ball of ice in my stomach. It was nearly eleven - I'd rushed through my chores that morning, gathering eggs and hooking up one of my new sprinklers. My back thanked me for the device - my watering can was seeing less use now. But as the clock hands swept closer to nine, when the clinic opened, my throat grew drier, my hands shook on the handle of my scythe. I'd stood on the edge of my property, staring down the path leading into town. Finally, I gave up and took the long way, looping up through the mountain path and past the lake, hoping the walk through the north meadow would calm my nerves. Gravel crunched beneath my feet as I walked, hands shoved deep in the pockets of my jeans and fiddling with a smooth stone that had made its way in there.

When my feet struck the top of the stairs leading down into town, my heart started to pound. I'd been here too many times in the past. The bleachers in eighth grade. Sitting behind the librarian's desk during lunch junior year. Waiting outside the lecture hall at the university. The little German pub back in Zuzu City. Always the same script.

_You know, he likes you._

Glittering eyes, like they were telling me a great secret. A sly grin as I stared into the nearest book or half-empty glass.

_He's just shy, you should go talk to him._

Girls with shiny hair and perfect teeth, leaning in covertly and glancing up on occasion to catch a glimpse of the man in question.

_Come on, be brave._

Two options, both leading to my humiliation. Brush them off, let them laugh at the shy frigid girl who couldn't get up the courage to go talk to a nice guy. Or swallow my pride and approach the unwitting fellow who had no idea he'd been targeted. More often than not he'd made a pass at the other girl and she was trying to get even. Send over the ugly girl, make her think someone might actually be interested in her for once in her life-

"Um, you alright there, farmer?"

The ball of ice suddenly expanded, freezing my extremities. Only my eyes could move, sliding sideways to see Sebastian slumping against the building. He looked up at me from beneath the fringe of black hair. I managed to nod.

"S'just - you're standing dead still in front of the clinic - " he shrugged, crossing his arms and pulling a cigarette from his pocket. "Thought maybe you'd cracked something in the mines again."

"N-no, nothing like that," I stammered. My feet came unstuck and I was able to sidle back a few feet, clearing the entry way. Sebastian seemed to take no notice, producing a match from somewhere and flicking it alight with a thumbnail. The cigarette glowed red as he dropped the match, extinguishing it beneath his heel. He took a long draw. Smoke billowed from his mouth, dissipating into the haze. I saw his eyes widen slightly and turned to follow his line of vision. A flash of purple darted between the trees that hid the small cemetery. He stubbed out the cigarette and pushed himself off the wall.

"I gotta go -" he said, not looking back. I sighed. Sebastian had more courage than I did, charging across town towards Abigail without hesitation. Me, I could barely open a door. Before he could make it halfway across the courtyard, though, the clinic door banged open.

"Oh, good, Seb, you're here," Maru's voice caroled. Sebastian cringed. "Don't think you can duck out of your check up again." Sebastian stopped in the center of the square and slumped, his head rolling back on his shoulders.

"Maru - "

"No excuses. You've kept the doctor waiting enough as it is. Get in here."

"But -"

"Do I need to talk to Dad about _responsibility_ again?" She asked, crossing her arms and leaning in the doorway. Sebastian stiffened and turned, a frown etched deep in his face.

"Leave Demetrius out of this," he muttered, trudging back towards the door. Maru stepped aside and let him slide past her into the clinic. She turned, then caught sight of me.

"Oh! I'm glad you're here!" She said, rushing across the courtyard. "I was honestly a little afraid I'd scared you off the other day." She grabbed hold of my arm and led me inside the clinic, sitting on the desks' edge and throwing her legs over the counter rather than walk around. My knees, already a wobbly mess, finally gave out and I fell indelicately into the chair in front of the desk. She looked up at me, eyes glittering behind her glasses and grinning.

_Shining hair and perfect teeth -_

"Well, Doc's in with Seb now, but that just gives you time to fill out your paperwork - " she slid a clipboard across the counter towards me, eagerly clicking a pen and depositing it on the stack. "Soon as he gets a break I'll let him know you're here." She stood, turning towards the door that led back to the exam rooms.

"No!" I threw out a hand, smacking the pen to the floor. She glanced back at me, an eyebrow raised. "I mean - " I ducked to the floor to retrieve the pen, thinking frantically. If she told him I was here, he might leave. "I mean, he's really busy. I'm not in a rush." I nodded, unable to meet her gaze, and began to scribble at the stack of forms.

"Oookay," she said, ushering me towards the chairs in the waiting area.

Time passed slowly, the only sound my pen scratching against the paper and the slow tick of the clock. I finished the forms and deposited them back on the desk, avoiding Maru's knowing gaze. We both looked up as a voice was suddenly audible beyond the swinging double doors.

"...maybe spend a little more time out of doors. A bit of sunlight could help with the vitamin deficiency but otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much."

The doors popped open and Harvey appeared, guiding Sebastian back into the waiting area. Sebastian nodded at me then slouched out the front door. Harvey glanced down at a clipboard of his own, made a note, then tucked the pencil behind his ear. Only then did he look up and catch sight of me.

"Oh! Beth!" His cheeks colored, and I felt something churn in my stomach. He was embarrassed to see me, I knew it. "I wasn't expecting you today - " Hastily he flipped through the notes on his clipboard, avoiding meeting my eye. Behind him, Maru gave a very fake sounding cough. "Well, what do you know, you are actually scheduled for today, isn't that lucky?"

"Harvey, you asked me to tell her on Tuesday!" Maru protested. I crossed my arms in front of myself, feeling as though I might fly apart. Maybe I could just leave, bolt now while they were bickering -

"Did I? Blast it all, scatterbrained as I am. Well, serendipity seems to have struck. Come on, then, let's take a look," Harvey said, turning to look at me again. The flush in his cheeks faded as he saw my awkward stance. There, I'd embarrassed him again. I swore mentally and gnawed on my lip. _No, just get this over with_. I rushed forward, past the doctor, and through the double doors. A short corridor led to a few small examination rooms and I waffled between them.

"On the left," Harvey said, right in my ear. I jumped. "Woah, it's ok, Beth." He laid a hand on my shoulder and I ducked under, darting into the indicated room and perching on the paper-covered table. He followed me in, immediately going to the cabinet in the corner and pulling on a pair of gloves. "You seem pretty rattled, everything okay?" he asked, looking back over his shoulder.

I worried the edge of the paper, not meeting his eye. What was happening? A week ago I'd been able to carry on a perfectly good conversation with him alone in my house. Now I couldn't look at him in a completely innocent and professional setting. Maru was getting to me, trying to convince me -

Harvey interrupted my thoughts by stepping closer. Immediately I drew away.

"It's alright. Just need to take your pulse," he said gently, holding up the silver end of the stethoscope.

"Right - right," I murmured.

He hummed as he pressed the cold chest piece against my sternum, glancing at his watch to measure my pulse. "Your heart rate is elevated. Is everything alright?" he asked, concern coloring his voice.

"Just nerves," I said as he leaned closer, his breath tickling my ear.

"I didn't peg you as one to have a fear of hospitals." His knee brushed against mine as he shifted his grip. My own breathing hitched.

"I - well - since my mother -" I said, trying to think of anything other than his deep green eyes staring at me. Too late I realized I'd opened a whole new can of worms.

"Oh, damn." He dropped the stethoscope. Startled, I looked up. "I didn't even think - I'm sorry, Beth. Did she - " Suddenly, all traces of the confident doctor were gone, replaced by the awkward Harvey who'd carted an armload of cauliflower through the rain to my farm house. I felt my nerves abate. "She passed in the hospital?"

"Before she made it there, actually," I said, surprised to hear the words come out without stammering. "Heart attack. I didn't know until I got to the hospital myself. Last time I saw her was on the gurney when they wheeled her in, and by then it was already too late."

"No wonder. I'm an idiot, I should have known - " He yanked the stethoscope off his neck and tossed it onto the counter, then ran his hands nervously through his hair. One foot shot out and hooked the rolling stool in the corner and he wheeled it over, positioning himself directly in front of me. For the first time, I had to look down to see him. The nub of the pencil eraser still poked out of his thick, tousled hair and I found myself focusing on it, trying not to stare into his eyes. He reached out and gently took my hands, holding them in his own. Instantly I felt my heart spike again. "I'm so sorry," he said, softly. "It's hard to lose someone, especially a mother, and as young as you are - " he paused and swallowed, looking aside. "Well. The offer still stands, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here." Gently his thumb rubbed over the back of my hand.

"Harvey, Jodi's out front, said Vincent's eaten something off the ground again - oh!" Maru opened the door to the exam room. At the interruption Harvey abruptly dropped my hands and pushed away from the table.

"Right, well, we were just finishing up here," He said, standing and fumbling for the clipboard. As he turned to mark something on my record, Maru caught my eye. She jerked her head towards the doctor, then gave me a saucy wink. "Ms. Farmer, everything seems to be in order. As always, if you need any medical information or advice, you can find me easily enough." Seamlessly he slid back into the doctor persona and nodded curtly. I carefully slipped off the table, knees still feeling gelatinous.

"Okay. Thank you, doctor," I said quietly and excused myself.

"Well?" Maru asked, jogging down the hallway after me. "What did he say?" She jumped in front of me, blocking my egress.

"It's not like that, Maru," I said, a little dully. I'd seen the way the shutters had dropped over his eyes as soon as she'd walked in the room. There was no way he was interested in me like that, just as I'd thought. No one ever was. Just pity, as usual. I glanced up, blinking hard against the sudden prickling of tears that were threatening in my throat. Behind Maru was a great hand-drawn calendar taking up most of the wall. Dates were marked in dry-erase marker, holidays picked out in little caricatures. This week sported a colorful lei - the luau was coming soon. I found today's date and felt my heart sink. Sebastian's name was written neatly in black, but the rest of the square was filled with a blank post-it note.

"Big blue letters indeed," I said bitterly. "Thanks, Maru." I pushed past the nurse, rubbing the back of my hand where his thumb had caressed.  Such a gentle touch, so kind - 

Savagely I shook my head.   _Stop it._

Someday I'd learn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, guys! It really means a lot to me.


	11. Chapter 11

_Crunch._

_Crunch._

My hoe bit into the hard, crusted dirt below the small pond, dirt that had been untouched for several decades. I'd finally managed to roll the boulders out of the area, clearing another patch for planting. Towards the farmhouse, I had a dozen rows of corn just starting to sprout silks and a sizeable copse of blueberry bushes. Now I'd have a whole new section to add to my existing crops. Past the fence that marked the boundary of my property, I could hear cicadas buzzing in the trees. Summer was well and fully here.

I pulled back, leaning lightly on the hoe as I took a long swig from the dusty water bottle tossed in the grass alongside my new field. It was lukewarm but wet, and that was what mattered. I sighed, ran a hand along my forehead to try and blot off some of the sweat, then tossed hoe and bottle back into the grassy strip before digging in my pockets for the packages of wheat seeds. These weren't from Pierre's - I'd snuck around behind the blacksmith and bought them from the smirking man at Jojamart. I couldn't stand to be in the general store that close to the clinic.

My face burned at the thought of who was inside the clinic and I harshly pushed it away, focusing on instead neatly depositing the tiny grains into the long trench I'd dug.

I couldn't get that image of the post-it out of my head. I couldn't believe I'd fallen for something so simple as just my name being written on the wall. Maru's little wink when she oh-so-conveniently happened to interrupt my appointment, the look on her face. There was no doubt in my mind. It was clear where Harvey's affections lay, and it wasn't with a sweaty, awkward farmer. Not when there was someone as pretty and smart as Maru nearby. The look they shared when she barged in, the way his eyes flashed when she walked in the door -

_Stop it!_

I violently shook the package of seeds, sending individual granules scattering across the soil. Molly glanced up from where she was napping on a fence post nearby and made a small noise of indignation. My anger cooled, and I carefully stepped over the new row of wheat plants to run my hand along her back. She arched into it, rubbing her face against my hand and making small meeping sounds. I stood there, letting her twine between my fingers until I could no longer hear my rushing heartbeat in my ears.

_This was ridiculous_ , I chided myself. _You've only been here maybe six months, and you're letting yourself fall back into this. You didn't come here to pick up men, you came because there_ was _a house and work and somewhere that wasn't full of bad memories._

I pictured myself in ten years, twenty years. Stomping through the fields and scattering seeds, pulling red hair shot through with increasing streaks of silver into a tail, making cheese and wine and sitting next to my fire at night as darkness crept across the farm. I imagined only a single straight-backed chair in front of the flickering flames.

_I didn't need anyone,_ I thought viciously. _I didn't come here in the hopes of getting swept off my feet by a tall, intelligent -_

The single-room farmhouse grew in my mind's eye, a proper home with a kitchen and bookshelves. Two armchairs in front of the fire. A green suit coat laid out over the end of a two-person bed...

Molly bit down on the end of my finger and I yelped.

"Miss Faaar-mer!"

I heard the young voice carol across the field and I turned, shaking my hand in pain. Jas, accompanied by Shane and Marnie, were just emerging from the gap in the trees at the bottom of the field. Still in the distance, Jas was waving frantically at me, something bright yellow in her hands. I waved in return.

"What's going on?" I asked Marnie as they drew near, both she and Shane carefully avoiding the neat rows of soil. Jas hopped up and down, crushing a few of the little mounds. I winced, but said nothing.

"Luau," Shane grunted, jerking his chin at the path leading towards town.

"We weren't sure if you knew, so we decided to come up this way. Besides, as the new farmer, everyone's excited to see what you're going to put in the soup," Marnie added.

"Soup?"

"Oh yes, the governor comes down, we all gather on the beach, and Caroline, Jodi and I prepare a huge batch of soup. It's tradition for everyone to bring something to add. It's a community experience," a note of breathy wonder filled her voice on the last bit, and I glanced at Shane. He shrugged.

"It's Mayor Lewis' idea. Thinks if we all contribute it's a bonding thing." He shrugged again.

"We're bringing cheese!" Jas piped, waving the yellow object again. I looked down and realized she was holding a sizeable wedge of firm, yellowy cheese. Marnie smiled down at the child.

"I haven't pressed cheese in years, that's been sitting on a shelf in the back room for years. I'll tell everyone it's just well aged." She looked up at me, expectantly. "So what are you going to bring?"

"I - um," I mumbled, patting at my pockets as if I had a gourmet ingredient hiding somewhere in my jeans. "I don't know."

"It can be anything," Marnie insisted, glancing about herself. I looked up towards the house, thinking I might have something - but no, I'd shipped out almost all of my harvest yesterday.

A flash of pink under the spreading green leaves caught my attention.

"Better than nothing, I guess," I muttered, and headed towards the melon patch.

***

"Hmmm..." The governor pondered, pulling the spoon slowly from beneath his bristling mustache. Mayor Lewis hovered nervously at his elbow.

"Well?" He asked, apprehensively.

"It's certainly different," The governor said, smacking his lips. After a moment's consideration, he dipped the spoon back into the soup. "Much different than anything I've ever had. Sweet, a little tangy - " A third spoonful disappeared into his mouth. "Oh yes, I like this a lot."

Mayor Lewis heaved a sigh of relief.

"Well then, dig in everyone!"

A crowd surged forward with bowls as Marnie produced a large ladle and began to dish. I waited in the shadow of one of the large fake tiki heads, Shane standing nearby.

"A little anticlimactic," I said. He nodded, too invested in the tankard he had gotten from Gus.

My eyes skimmed the beach, looking at the gathered faces. I was suddenly surprised by how familiar they all seemed. It hadn't been so long ago that all of these people were strangers to me. Now, though -

I spotted Linus twisting a spit near the water's edge where the flames would be safer. Maru stood nearby, chatting with the older man. The sunlight glittered off her glasses, sending sparkles through the air. I sighed, a little enviously. She glanced up after a moment and turned. I followed her gaze to see Harvey approaching her.

I felt like I'd been struck by lighting. Harvey smiled as he carefully made his way across the loose sand to stand at her side. She tilted her head, quizzically, then burst into laughter. After a moment he began to laugh as well.

"You going to get some soup?" Shane asked suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. At the mention of food, I felt sick.

"No, I think - " Harvey chuckled again and looked around. From across the beach, I saw his eyes, bright emerald green. They spotted me. "No, definitely not. I'm not feeling very well, I think I'm going to head home."

Abruptly I started across the beach towards the stone bridge. Shane tossed back the remainder of his drink.

"Yeah, I think so too. Social stuff isn't really my thing." We both picked our way through the dunes and were almost to the beach when I heard someone call my name.

Shane paused and turned back to look.

"Oh. Hey, Doc."

I froze. I heard pounding footsteps and heavy breath as Harvey jogged to catch up with us.

"Hello, Shane. Be- er, Ms. Farmer."

I cringed. He couldn't even call me by name. I glanced back at him over my shoulder.

His cheeks were bright red with exertion, his hair gently tousled by the brisk breeze coming off the ocean. He smiled as he caught his breath.

"I was worried you weren't coming," he said. "Listen, about the other day at the clinic - " he began, his light-hearted greeting suddenly fading as his voice grew serious. I felt my shoulders tilt inwards as if they could hide me from his words.

Shane coughed, and Harvey snapped his attention away from me.

"Oh. Oh, I seem to be interrupting," he said. His voice grew distant. "I'm so sorry, I'll just - " he turned, cheeks coloring again. I glanced over at Shane, who shrugged once again. Did the man do anything but shrug? "I'm sorry, I'll leave the two of you alone."

"Wrong tree, doc." Shane said abruptly, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. "We just happened to leave at the same time." He slumped against the wall. "Look, I'm gonna head back. There's a frozen pizza calling my name."

He shuffled off the bridge and down the path, leaving me on the bridge with Harvey.

"Are you - um," he said, breaking the silence after a moment. "Are you and Shane - ?"

I whipped around and glanced up at him.

"What? No - no, of course not. Just neighbors. Friends."

"Oh." Wait, was that relief in his voice? "I was wondering, well, I know you're originally from Zuzu City, and I have to go and pick up some certificates next week. I've never been and thought I should ask a local to keep from getting lost." He peered at me, his glasses sliding down his nose. "Would you be interested in playing my guide?"

I stared at him, unable to find words. After the debacle at the clinic, he could stand to be seen with me?

"You know, just -" he paused, and took a breath. "Just as friends?"

_Friends. Right._

"Sure. Sure, yeah, I can do that," I found myself stammering. A broad grin stretched across his face, lifting the corners of his mustache. Something warm seemed to bloom in my stomach. "Um, I should get going," I said, twisting my hands in knots.

"Of course," he said. I took a few careful steps across the bridge, mindful of any loose stones to trip on. I made my way across the cobblestone square and up to the forest path before glancing back. Harvey still waited on the bridge, and he waved when I turned back.

_Friends. Friends Friends Friends._

I thought again of the suitcoat on the bed, and broke into a run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is really hard to write someone this painfully oblivious.


	12. Chapter 12

I pulled another shirt from the pile and held it up, inspecting it closely in the sunlight streaming from the window. A faint but still visible stain showed on the hem and I groaned. Was it impossible for me to find any nice clothing that I hadn't ruined?

_If you'd stop cooking in your good shirts you wouldn't have this issue_ , I reminded myself, staring glumly at the ghost of olive oil past. I tossed it into the heap with the others and sat heavily on my bed, chin in my hands. It wasn't a big deal. Just going into the city. Just wear something clean and you'll be fine. Not like it's a date or anything.

My heart hammered at the thought of the word. No. We were just friends. My eye fell on a soft blue flannel shirt - clean, relatively presentable, not covered in dirt or something worse. I shrugged it on over a tee shirt and smoothed out the wrinkles. This will have to do.

I shoved my feet into a pair of old tennis shoes, opting for comfort. I didn't know how much walking we might be doing and didn't want to chance the more stylish but less comfortable boots. Propping my hand on my shelf to balance myself, though, I nudged the lid on my jewelry box. Maybe - maybe a little sparkle won't hurt. I slid the hooks into my ears, letting the small silver star charms dangle from the lobes. There. Not too ostentatious, but different from every day at least.

The heat of the afternoon suffused my car, permeating it with the scent of the new air freshener I'd bought that morning. I waited, a little nervously, outside the apartment complex, then finally gave a small honk. After a moment the door swung open. Curly brown hair, worn just a little long. Gray eyes that reminded me of thunderstorms. He smiled and gave a small wave before approaching the passenger door. My heart turned over in my chest.

"Hey, Beth!" he said as he pulled himself into the seat and fiddled with the seatbelt.

"Hey," I replied, a little breathless. Already the air freshener was overcome with the scent of his cologne.

"Sorry for the late notice," he said, finally managing to secure the buckle. "But I thought you might be free tonight - "

"No, no it's no problem at all. I'm glad you asked me," I replied. I yanked on the gear shift and reversed out of the parking lot. "I wasn't doing anything tonight anyway. Just another boring Friday."

In the passenger seat, Jeremy laughed. His fingers twisted in his lap as I merged onto the interstate.

"I've heard good things about this show," he said, pulling an envelope from his shirt pocket. A couple of cardboard tickets poked out of it and he fanned them in his hands. "I've done some work with them in the past, but I wasn't cast here. It's mostly a dance-based production and I'm more of a straight actor anyway."

The sun was setting, low enough that it shone in the window. I slipped my sunglasses over my eyes to block the glare, and also to keep my eyes from being too visible as I snuck glances at my companion.

"Thanks for getting me a ticket," I said. "You didn't have to do that."

"Oh, no problem. I mean, I did ask you to go," he offered.

The river under the bridge glittered in the dusk light as we passed into Zuzu City proper, out of the suburban sprawl where both of our homes were located. The skyscrapers perched on the horizon like shot from a movie, the glass and steel shining like gemstones. It didn't take long to pull onto one of the side streets and a dingy parking lot. I fed quarters into a meter, then joined Jeremy on the corner.

"So how many of the actors do you know?" I asked, trying to pick the conversation back up to detract from my shaking hands.

"Four or five, the stage manager, the lighting director, and the dance coach," he said. "Plus I'm auditioning next week with the lead's understudy - "

I smiled, listening to the pleasant cadence of his voice. He stepped a little bit closer to me as we crossed the street, and I had a sudden desire to link my arm with his.  We jogged across the intersection and up to the broad double doors of the theater.

The audience was rapidly filling as we made our way to our seats. Jeremy led me up the stairs, his hand hovering at the small of my back.  We both muttered apologies as we wove our way through the crowd.  I pushed past a pack of older women in flouncy hats, trying not to trip over their myriad of totes and purses littering the aisle. Despite my precaution, though, my foot caught in a strap and I stumbled, twisting in midair even as I threw out my arms to catch myself.

A warm hand closed around my waist, the other catching at my wrist. I jerked to a stop, then blinked, staring up into Jeremy's face.

"Careful," he said, a small smile crinkling his eyes. I laughed, a high-pitched, nervous sound, and wiggled free of his grasp. He seemed reluctant to let go.  "Are you alright?" he asked, his voice soft and filled with concern.  

"Yeah, of course. Thanks," I said, feeling behind me for my seat. The house lights flashed once as I arranged myself in the narrow chair and tried to still my breathing, the sensation of his fingers on my skin still burning as darkness enveloped us.  As the first strains of the orchestra began, he slid his arm high on the armrest, his shoulder bumping against mine. I drew away, then relaxed.  My skin grew warm as his arm caressed mine.  I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't move.  He didn't.

When the curtain fell, we slipped into the line of people meandering out the door to greet the cast. I clutched at my program awkwardly as he pushed ahead, smiling at the actors and giving them my regards and congratulations.

"Jeremy!"

One of the actresses, a pretty, delicate brunette rushed forward from the receiving line and threw her arms around his neck.

"Jennifer! Oh, you were so good!" he said, hugging her back.

"I'm so glad you came!" she pulled back, her hands still resting on his shoulders. "Look, everyone's excited to see you, why don't you come and get a drink with us?" she asked.

"Er, well, I - " he turned, glancing back at me. Jennifer spotted me as well.

"Oh! Hi there," she said, a little perplexed. "Jeremy - ?"

He grinned and gestured towards me.

"This is Beth," he said. "We came together, she's my - " he paused, a strange look wrinkling his forehead.

I recognized the look. It was a look I saw on everyone's face when they saw us together. It was the look that said, _we're very good friends that are always mistaken as a couple. We're more than best friends, but less than lovers. We're dating in everything but name. She's my girl friend, but not my girlfriend._

"I'm his Uber," I said, rattling my keys slightly and forcing a grin. "I drove."

It took another twenty minutes to make it through the crush, Jeremy speaking to each of his actor friends as I stood awkwardly behind, trying not to be too close and cause further issue. He smiled apologetically as we finally made it to the car.

"Hey, sorry about all of that," he said, catching my wrist in his grip as I attempted to unlock the doors.

"Hey, it's cool. They're your friends," I said.

"Yeah, but so are you." He smiled, then pulled me into a hug. "I really am glad you came with me tonight," he murmured, his breath warm on my ear.

I sighed, breathing in his scent, my arms clasped behind his neck. I wanted to stay like this forever.

Abruptly the car beeped as I squeezed my keys a little too hard. I jumped, and Jeremy laughed, allowing his arms to fall.

"Come on, you've got to work in the morning, and I'm keeping you out late."

I groaned at the thought of an early-morning weekend shift at Joja. We clambered back in my car and drove in silence, the only sound the dull hum of the radio turned low. I propped my arm on the center console and he did the same, our skin brushing gently against one another.

Too soon the headlights flashed on the outside of his building. I waited for him to speak, or move.  Finally, I twisted my keys, allowing the car to shut off.  The sound of the engine faded, leaving only a ringing, tension-filled silence.  For a moment he was still, as if he was waiting for something. After what seemed like an eternity, he sighed and stretched, then slowly leaned across the front seat of my car.

I froze - what was he doing? His breath fell warm on my ear and I turned, catching only a glimpse of his stormcloud eyes reflecting the headlights. Was he going to kiss me? My heart pounded.

Instead, his arms fell around my shoulders once again, squeezing tightly in the awkward space. I breathed, once, twice, then he let go and I heard the click of the door lock disengage.

_Now or never._

"Jeremy, wait."

He paused, one hand on the door frame.

"Yeah? What's up?" Slowly he relaxed back down into his seat. I stared dead ahead, both hands locked on the steering wheel.

"Jeremy, I - you're my best friend," I stuttered, unable to look at him. "I think you're really amazing, and I'm happy to be with you. I really like you," I managed to stammer, immediately cursing the vagueness of the words. "I - I mean - " I finally tore my eyes away from the odometer and looked at him, praying he understood what I meant.

His face was stone as he stared at his hands.

"I - I'm really flattered," he said, finally. "I really am. And you're one of my best friends too. And I don't want to lose that. But I - I don't think of you that way."

I felt as though my heart had vanished, leaving behind a sucking vacuum. I took a deep breath, trying to fill the void. Everything was rushing around me, my ears ringing. It took me a moment to realize he was still talking.

"I mean, I've known for a while. And I like you too, just not like that. I just kept hoping if I didn't say anything it would eventually go away and we wouldn't have to worry about it - " He glanced up at me. "I'm really sorry,"

"It's okay," I heard myself say. He seemed to brighten.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's not really a big deal."

"Okay, so we can still be friends, right? I don't think I could stand to lose you."

"Sure, we can still be friends," I repeated. My stomach seemed to have disappeared into the howling void as well, and I felt as though I might throw up.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you around," he said, once again putting a hand to the door. "Thanks for coming with me, again."

"Sure thing," I whispered. He waved in the light of the headlights, then let himself into his apartment.

I blinked, and found myself parked in the street by my building with no recollection of getting there. I took a deep, shuddering breath, and began to sob.

 

***

 

Molly mewled at me from her basket, and I jerked. The farmhouse was cool and dark without the light of the fire, and I pushed myself off the bed to nudge the coals alive once again. From the corner of my eye, I saw the flannel shirt peeking out from the chest at the foot. I stashed the fire poker back in its iron stand, then flipped open the lid of the chest. The flannel seemed to stare at me, challenging me.

_It's going to be the same again_ , it whispered.

Wordlessly I reached in and snatched up the shirt. Beneath it lay a glossy program, it's cover still bright. A ticket stub poked from the cover.

_I don't care_ , I whispered back. I crumpled the program in my fingers and hurled it into the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, a flashback. Gotta build that tension somehow. ;)


	13. Chapter 13

It was too blasted quiet on the farm at night.

Back in the city, I had plenty of noise to contend with. Cars racing up and down the streets long after their drivers should have been asleep, heavy bass thumping a strange counterpoint to the high whine of the engines. Dogs barking - low, growling barks and high yippy ones. Kids screaming. Adults screaming - that was somehow worse. Gunshots. Sirens. The nights where you got the trifecta - the screaming, the shots, the sirens all together. That's when you turned on the news, saw the late night breaking stories of the triple homicide, the alcohol-fueled shouting match that had turned sour.

I hated the sirens worst of all. The ambulances that blared down the streets late at night, lights flashing red and white through the curtains of my bedroom, sending splashes of color against the walls. I buried my head under my pillows when the ambulances rushed past, blocking out both light and sound. There'd been no sirens that awful morning at the hospital, only the ambulance slowly creeping down the ramp towards the emergency room doors, it's lights flashing balefully.

But here, on the farm, the only sounds were the drowsy clucks of the chickens in the coop, the occasional mournful call of a dove or owl. Stormy nights brought thunder crashing and wind creaking through the eaves. That I could handle. The sound and the energy that filled the air were refreshing, even calming. But nights like this, where everything was still and quiet under the great indigo blanket of the sky brought only unease, as if the world waited on tenterhooks, as if something was building just out of sight.

I raised my hand over my head and fumbled for the switch on my watch. The neon blue light flashed, revealing the digits. 10:30. I'd only been in bed fifteen minutes, my calves aching and twitching under the covers. I'd spent the morning in the mines hacking away at a spur of copper ore, hoping to relieve some of the tension that I couldn't seem to escape. Instead, I'd only managed to tire my body out, leaving my brain to whirr wide-awake in the darkness.

Groaning, I pushed myself upright and looked around the dim cabin. The fire glowed dully, the embers a faint red under a thick layer of ash. Another harvest of blueberries and I'd be able to hire Robin to open up the rest of the main floor of the cabin, and hopefully have the electricity running again soon after. I swept the thin bedsheet aside and stood, toes curling on the cold floor. A pitcher of water on the table beckoned and I clumsily made my way through the darkness. I tipped the jug up, not bothering with a cup, and spluttered. The water was warm - almost hot. The heat of the day had baked into the cabin and left even my drinking water uncomfortably warm. I sighed and lowered the pitcher back to the table. The light of my watch caught my eye again, and I felt my way into a chair, considering.

The Saloon was open until midnight. Gus surely had something cold to drink there, and the walk through the cool night air might do me some good. Maybe I'd wear myself out enough physically to get my mind to shut up, and finally get some sleep.

I thought of ice clinking in a glass, condensation forming on the outside edge. I wiped the sweat beading on my forehead off with a hand and began to feel around for my shoes.

Fireflies blinked through the air as I made my way into town. A cool breeze ruffled the trees and across the back of my neck. I shrugged deeper into the worn denim jacket I'd thought to bring along and felt some of the tension dissipate.

The tall lamppost next to the clinic had attracted a host of moths and other insects, sending great shadows across the town square. I paused there, staring up at the window. A light burned in the apartment window.

_You could knock..._

I shook myself firmly and started walking towards the Saloon again. The stone steps were slightly bowed in the center from years of use. The door stuck for a second as I pushed, but it quickly dislodged and light and sound washed over me.

"Well, if it isn't the farmer!" Gus crowed from behind the bar. I was taken aback - I'd assumed this late at night the place would be nearly abandoned. Instead, several people still loitered near the counter, and I heard the tell-tale smashing sound of billiard balls in the next room. _So much for quiet_ , I thought. "What'll it be?" Gus asked as I hesitantly approached the bar.

"Ah, a root beer?" I asked. He nodded, tugging a heavy glass from below the counter, then moving to one of the many taps that arrayed the wall behind him. He slotted the glass underneath, then paused, turning to look back at me.

"Wait - you said _root_ beer?"

"Yes, please."

"Sure you don't want something a little stronger?" He wiggled the tap handle for emphasis.

"No, thank you."

"Suit yourself," he said, sliding down to pull a bottle from a refrigerator tucked beneath the counter. I took it, relishing the cool glass, then headed for one of the booths in the corner.

There was a hollow rattling sound behind the partition wall between the dining room and the game area.

"You scratched again, Sam!"

"It's not my fault Abigail can't set up a decent shot!"

A scuffing sound followed, with the occasional teeth-aching screech. I craned my neck around and peered into the room to see Sebastian angrily chalking the end of a cue. Abigail leaned on her own cue, staring at Sam.

"Me?! You're the one who never learned to follow through on a shot!"

"Look, this game is shot anyway. That eight is barely hanging on, just re-rack and we'll try again," Sebastian said, tossing the chalk onto the edge of the table. Sam sighed and reached for the three-sided rack and began to fish balls out of the pockets. Abigail followed around the table, retrieving more of the striped balls and rolling them across the felted surface. As she approached the partition, she glanced up.

"Oh! Hey, farmgirl! You know anything about pool?"

I jumped as she called out, realizing I had been watching the game progress.

"Um, I used to play, when I was younger," I said, nervously toying with the bottle in my hands. It had been years since I'd touched a cue, usually spending an evening in a bowling alley feeding quarters into a table.

"Want to play? Be nice to play partners for once rather than boring old nine-ball," she said, waving me over.

"Sure, um, okay." I took a long swig of my drink and pushed away from the table. Sebastian glanced up from behind his curtain of hair and offered me a cue.

"Alright, Farmer?" he asked, nodding slightly. I nodded in return, running my fingers over the cue, then scooping up the chalk and liberally dusting the end.

"I'll break," Sam said, tugging the rack off the table and lining up the cue ball.

We worked our way around the table, slowly sinking balls in pockets. Abigail and I quickly claimed the striped balls while Sam and Sebastian struggled to keep up. Forgotten technique crept back into my fingers and I fell back into the easy pattern - lean, line, follow through. Balls rattled across the felt.

I propped one hip on the table, leaning far across to line the cue up with the green fourteen ball when Abigail spoke.

"So, farmgirl, what's the story with you and the doc?"

My fingers slipped, skidding the cue across the white ball with a twangy metallic sound. Sam winced and ran a hand across the table to check the felt.

"I - wha - nothing, I mean - " I slid from the table, stumbling over my words. "What do you mean?" I finally managed. Abigail laughed and gave a dismissive hand gesture.

"Oh, you know. Small town, farmgirl. Word gets around. Heard the good doctor likes to get coffee at your place. Whole town saw him chase you across the beach at the Luau."

"Heard him invite you into the city, too," Sam said.  I felt my cheeks redden at the memory.

"You were acting awfully squirrely at the clinic the other day," Sebastian added. Abigail whirled to look at him, purple hair flying in every direction.

"You didn't tell me that!" she said, punching him in the shoulder.

"I - no, it's not like that," I said, trying to be heard over their squabbling. Abigail returned her gaze to me, eyes shining as Sebastian rubbed at his bruised arm.

"Oh, no, of course not. Not like old Harvey finally got the nerve to ask someone out - "

"It's really not like that," I insisted, starting to feel more angry than anything. It was clear he just wanted a friend, regardless of how kind his eyes were, how gentle his hands felt on mine -

"Guy's hopeless," Sam interjected, leaning languidly against the table. He grabbed hold of the cue ball and handed it to me. "Ball in hand, you missed your shot. Go again."

Rather than argue further with Abigail, I set the ball back on the table and lined up another shot.

"No, come on, farmgirl, there's got to be more than that," she insisted, leaning on her cue and propping a fist on her hip. I pulled back and shot, hammering the cue into the twelve ball. It slammed into the corner pocket.

"No," I said, feeling my anger boiling up. They just couldn't leave it alone, could they? I angled again, this time going after the nine. "He's just a friend," I said, struggling to keep my voice even. The nine disappeared into a pocket. "Nothing else. We aren't anything. He's nice, but not interested in me." I aimed again.

"Bullshit," Abigail said. "I've known Harvey since I was a kid, and I've never known him to be this flustered around anyone. He's got it bad!"

I gritted my teeth. Why couldn't they let me alone? It always happened this way. No matter how much I might want them to be right, it was clear that Harvey didn't want me. And the more they harped, the more likely it was to get back to him that gossip was going on about the two of us. He was my closest friend in town, and I couldn't bear to see it ruined by talk. I swallowed, hard, and shot. The ten and the twelve rattled into opposite pockets.

"There's nothing," I said, whirling on Abigail. "He's friendly. He's kind. He likes to talk to my cat. But there's nothing between us. He's - " abruptly, my anger dried up as the words on my tongue rang too true. "He's too good for me," I finished quietly. "Besides, someone like him would never be interested in me." I turned back to the table. All of the striped balls had been sunk during my tirade. I leaned across, pointing my cue at the white ball, lining up a shot with the eight. I breathed deeply and tried to restrain a sob that was building in my chest. I shot. The eight thudded into the pocket, quickly followed by the cue ball.

"Damn," Sebastian whispered, staring at the table. I slowly made my way around to the pocket and fished out the cue ball, handing it to Abigail.

"Sorry we lost," I said, laying my cue on the table. I grabbed my jacket from the abandoned booth and headed for the door. It slammed open as I stumbled down the steps.

The air outside was downright cold against the heat in my cheeks. I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket and headed south. I couldn't handle going past the clinic. I couldn't bear to see the light burning in the upstairs window, to think of Harvey leaned over a desk or table, his soft hair falling in his eyes as he worked diligently at paperwork or perhaps just read by the light of the lamp. I couldn't think of the way his eyes sparkled, or the faint flush that rose in his cheeks when he got excited. I couldn't bear to think that I would never be the cause of that blush.

I headed down the river road towards the forest, taking the long way home. Marnie's ranch would be quiet this time of night, and that's what I needed. A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over me, and I hurried my steps. At least now I'd be able to sleep.

I didn't notice the green-clad figure sitting on the bench outside the Saloon stand and head north, walking slowly towards the clinic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up to a T rating now for all that gosh-darn naughty language.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, longest chapter to date. Sorry this one took so long, it was hard to write. A lot of this is based on real life events for me and it's difficult to get down in words. Thanks so much for all of you that have been reading, it means so much to me to see the comments and kudos. I never expected to have actual fans or followers (looking at you, littleredwrites ^_^) and I appreciate you all so much. Thanks for keeping up with my maunderings!

"Up, Benedict."

The chicken fluffed her feathers and shuffled deeper into her nest. I heard the soft clicking sound of eggs as she shifted.

"Up!" I insisted, nudging the hen with my toe. She opened an eye and peered up at me, clucking softly. "No, up. Off the nest. I need those eggs." Benedict lifted a wing and nuzzled her beak beneath it, scratching at her soft down. I put my basket on the floor of the coop and crossed my arms. "You know, I've got that oil press working now - been craving some chicken wings - "

Benedict squawked loudly and launched herself from the nest, glaring at me the whole time. I swept in and scooped up the pair of eggs and quickly transferred them to the basket.

A strange rattling noise interrupted my egg gathering, and I ducked my head out of the coop. The opening to the forest road was suddenly obscured in a cloud of dust. I shaded my eyes with the flat of my hand and was startled to see an antique truck resolve through the dust.

What the - ?

The truck guttered to a stop in the small grassy area beside the house. Coughing slightly in the dust, I approached, egg basket swinging forgotten on my arm.

"Good morning, Beth!"

I froze as Harvey descended from the truck, long legs easily reaching the ground without the aid of the step-bar. He'd abandoned the doctor's coat in favor of jeans and a button-up shirt, but the heat of the day already had him rolling up the sleeves. A pair of aviator sunglasses poked out of the shirt pocket. He waved as he started across the field towards me. Every inch of him was clean and pristine, and I was suddenly aware of the straw dust in my hair and the unmentionable chicken leavings on my boots.

"Harvey! H - Hi!" I called, nervously yanking on my hair, which was knotted something fierce and sticking up at strange angles. His smile faded as he drew near.

"You didn't forget? Is this a bad time, I can probably manage - ?" he asked, suddenly unsure.

"Forget?"

"You were going to play guide for me? I have to go to Zuzu City today - at the Luau - ?" He began to stammer. "I mean, I haven't got to talk to you since then, I assumed - " The confidence he'd had when he hopped out of the truck began to fade, and a faint blush crept into his cheeks.

"No! No, of course I didn't forget." _Honestly, I was more worried that you would forget, or change your mind, or take someone else -_

His face brightened.

"Oh! Oh good." He looked me over, and I felt his gaze rest on my muddy shoes. My stomach somersaulted in shame.

"You know, just gotta finish up the chores. Farm work has to be done," I found myself babbling, trying to distract from the flush rising in my own face. "It'll just take me a second." I turned away, fiddling with the egg basket, to keep from looking at him.

"Can I help?" Harvey reached forward and tugged lightly at the basket, sliding it off my arm. "It'll go faster that way." He grinned. A cartwheel joined my internal somersaults.

"Um, sure, if you like. Just have to finish gathering up the eggs and lock the chickens down."

"Probably wise. They, um, seem to be escaping." Harvey pointed at the coop and I turned in time to see Benedict shoving her brown head out of the open door and spreading her wings experimentally.

"Benedict!" I shouted and sprinted towards the coop. "No! Bad bird, back inside!"

Benedict squawked and took off, her feet throwing up clouds of dust. I managed to corner her by the silo and scooped her up, shaking a finger at the bird.  She snapped her beak at it.

"No, no flying. Chickens don't fly! Back in the coop with you!"  She struggled in my arms, sending bits of down floating through the air.

Harvey caught up as I pulled open the coop door and tossed the chicken inside.

"Benedict?" He asked, wheezing slightly. "Odd name for a hen."

I pulled down the accordion door, locking it tightly, then shrugged. All three chickens were now nestled in their berths, clucking softly. Benedict continued to glare at me, her beady eyes darting from me to the basket Harvey held, holding her eggs.

"Well, Benedict, Omelet, and Quiche," I said, pointing at each hen. Harvey stifled a laugh.

"You named them after egg dishes?" he asked from behind a hand.

"What else would you name chickens?"

Harvey kept the egg basket as I filled the feeders, then followed me back to the house. Robin had been working for several days and had got the water and electric turned back on. I left my boots on the porch and headed for the kitchen sink, carefully stepping over the area where the floorboards had been wrenched up in order to replace them with new ones.

Harvey pulled the door closed behind him, and I suddenly remembered the conversations with Abigail and Maru, about him being in my house. I was glad for the running water - something else to focus on as I methodically scrubbed my hands.

"Well, hello, beautiful," Harvey said. I froze, my dripping hands suspended above the sink and my heart thudding painfully in my chest. _Was he talking to me?_ Harvey laughed, completely oblivious, and I turned to see him kneel to run a hand along Molly's spine. She looked up at him with half-lidded eyes and made a chirping sound. "Yes, yes, you are a pretty girl," he murmured, adding his other hand to scratch beneath her chin.

 _Oh. Of course, the cat._ I sighed and forced a chuckle. Harvey glanced up.

"She's getting big," he said conversationally, still rubbing Molly's cheek. The cat flopped onto her side and rolled, allowing him access to the soft fur on her stomach. He obliged, then yelped as she bit softly into his hand. "Hey!"

That time the laugh was genuine as he examined the small red marks on his fingers. He frowned, then glanced at me. "Are you ready?"

"Oh! Yeah, I just gotta find my shoes - " I brushed past him and through the open door that led into the old part of the cabin, now shifting more into just my bedroom. Harvey peered around the doorframe as I felt under the bed for my tennis shoes, long forgotten under the bedsprings in favor of my usual work boots. With a cry I extracted them and shoved my feet inside, hopping as I did up the laces.

"Alright - " I said, and he chuckled. The laugh was deep and warm and felt like sunlight, and I felt myself flush as his eyes whisked over me for the second time today. Quickly, though, he averted his gaze, coughing slightly, and the warmth faded. _Right,_ I remembered. _Ugly, scroungy farmer. Nothing he was interested in._ "Let's get going then?" I said, softly, staring at the floor.

The truck outside baffled me for a moment when I emerged on the porch.

"Harvey? When did you get a truck?" I asked. He smiled, ruffling in his pocket for the key.

"It's Mayor Lewis's" He replied, looking back over his shoulder.

"That one that's parked by his house? It still works?!" I asked, incredulous, as I followed him down the stairs.

"He keeps it in remarkably good condition. One of the few working vehicles in town, aside from the bus and Sebastian's motorcycle, and I didn't think you cared to ride that into the city." He waggled his eyebrows at me and I was suddenly struck with the image of the two of us racing down the road, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist -

"No - no not really."

Harvey popped open the driver's door and lifted himself easily in. Quickly I raced around the opposite side. Harvey had already leaned across the bench seat and opened the door for me. I levered myself into the seat and busied myself with the seat belt.

"Here, those can be a bit funny - " he said, his fingers gentle on the back of my hand as he slotted the buckle into the lock. I yanked my hand back and let him, my skin burning from the contact. _Get a hold of yourself!_ I mentally chastised.

The truck roared to life and Harvey quickly backed out of the grassy space he'd claimed as a parking spot. He turned off of the forest road and drove past the broken hulk of the bus, then sped out onto the main road. As we approached the highway, he extracted the sunglasses from his pocket. I expected him to exchange the thick-rimmed spectacles perched on his nose for the wire-rimmed sunglasses, but instead he shoved them awkwardly onto his face, barely fitting them over his regular glasses. I couldn't help but laugh as he grinned at me.

"So how did you manage to get Lewis's truck?" I asked, hunting for any conversation topic.

"He lends it to me often," Harvey replied. "I need to make the occasional trip for supplies for the clinic, or in the rare case I need to get someone to a real hospital I use it as an ambulance." He frowned and shrugged.  "Haven't had to do that in a while, thankfully. So long as people stay out of those god-forsaken mines, I shouldn't have to worry about it."

I thought guiltily of the many late nights I'd been there myself, hammering away at nodes of ore, but said nothing.

"The crops are doing alright?" he asked, rather suddenly as the conversation had lagged. "Have anymore - er, what was it - cauliflower?" He glanced sideways at me and I smiled as his sunglasses slipped on his long nose.

"No, no more cauliflower. Wrong season. I have got the pickling brine figured out though, and I've got a batch in the canner," I said. "Should be done pretty soon - I'll be able to pay you back for that house call."

"Oh, I'm so concerned," he said, his voice light with sarcasm. "I suppose your ankle healed alright, you never did let me take another look at it."

"Yeah, just fine. No problems at all."

"I'm not at all surprised," he said, turning to glance behind and quickly switching lanes. "You're obviously quite healthy, and your legs are looking just fine - " he paused.

At the abrupt cut-off, I glanced up. Beneath his double-lensed contraption, a bright blush was spreading across his cheekbones.

The conversation floundered for a while, jumping from topic to topic but never managing to land on anything for more than a few minutes. I was inordinately pleased to finally see the Zuzu City skyline, though, and escape from the increasing awkwardness. I wondered if Harvey regretted inviting such a poor conversationalist along as a guide.

We found a parking garage and Harvey carefully backed the truck in. As he twisted the keys, the truck guttered and died with a grateful sounding rattle.

"She doesn't care for these long hauls anymore," he said fondly, rubbing the steering wheel. Meanwhile, I fought with the buckle on my seat belt. It was stuck. "See, told you those were tricky - " Harvey said, noticing my struggle. He reached down and gave the button a particularly savage jab, and the belt popped loose.

I glanced up and was startled at how close we were. He'd removed the sunglasses and I could see the thin gold striations that shot through the green of his eyes, the slightest dusting of freckles across his nose. I found myself unable to breathe.

"Thanks - " I whispered. He looked up and grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly and the edges of his mustache turning up like a second smile.

"My pleasure," he replied.

Once we'd made it out of the shadowy confines of the garage, Harvey drew a slip of paper from his pocket.

"These are the offices I need to visit - are you familiar with them?" I pored over the paper, squinting in the bright sunlight.

"Um - " I twisted, trying to put the paper in the shadow of my own body so I could read properly, then started as Harvey tapped me lightly on the shoulder. He held out his mirrored sunglasses.

"Here, you look like you could use these," he said. Gratefully I slid the glasses over my eyes and looked down at the paper again.

"Oh, yes, of course," I said, and took off down the street.

"Hey, wait for me!" Harvey called after, breaking into a slight jog to catch up.

Collecting all of Harvey's documents took a good few hours, and the sun was setting as we finally escaped the last sterile waiting room. I breathed deeply, glad for once of the polluted city air. Too much of the astringent scent seemed to have soaked into my skin and I was nearly itching with the desire to get out of all medical environments. 

Harvey flipped through the stack of folders, double checking everything.

"What is all that, anyway?" I finally asked, the question burning in my mouth all day.

"Certificates, mostly. Birth, death. I have to have them sent off to be certified by the appropriate offices, though. Small town doctor doesn't have the same credentials as, say, the coroner."

The thought of a death certificate stopped me in my tracks. I remembered the feel of them, the thick embossed seals in the corners, sending them to every agency and account -

Absently Harvey pulled a page from one of the folders, then stilled. He glanced back at me, his glasses sliding down his nose again, and immediately began to apologize.

"Beth, I'm so sorry - I just don't think - " He shoved the paper unceremoniously back into the folder and tucked them under his arm. "I just keep putting my foot in my mouth. Death is such a common thing for doctors to deal with; I end up walling it off. I forget how it affects other people." He was babbling. It was strangely endearing.

I felt a tear leak out of the corner of my eye and I swiped at it savagely. No! I wasn't going to ruin this day by crying over mom again. But as I dropped my hands, Harvey grabbed them.  

"It's okay. Really, I'm not going to judge."

The softness in his voice pushed me over the edge, and I felt my shoulders start to shake.

"It's hard," I heard myself saying. "I just don't understand sometimes what the point is. Why am I still fighting? What is there left for me?"

Harvey dropped his hands and I hiccuped, immediately drawing myself in tight. I'd embarrassed him again, he was trying to distance himself -

I felt the warmth around my shoulders and a heavy but pleasant pressure. I opened my eyes, blinking through the tears, and found myself wrapped in his embrace.

"It's the worst thing in the world," he said. I felt the rumbling of his voice. "Nothing ever makes it better. You just have to keep going. Eventually, something will come, something that makes things feel worthwhile again. It may take a while, but it will come eventually. That's the point. That's what there is to fight for." His hand rubbed small circles on my shoulder.

Across the street I heard someone wolf whistle, and I jerked my head up. Harvey's arms slowly untangled from around my shoulders.

"Hey! Get a room!" A teenager on a bicycle shouted from the other side of the road. Harvey frowned and started across the street, but stopped as I began to laugh. I could still feel the imprint of his fingers on my shoulders and everything felt light and effervescent. I looked up at him as I scrubbed at my face.

He glowered across the street, the child on the bicycle long gone. As he turned, though, his look softened. He met my eyes and gave me a small smile.

"Are you alright now?" he asked. I nodded.  

He glanced down at his watch and sighed.

"Well, I guess we should be heading back - "

"Wait - " I said, pulling up short. Even with that outburst, I didn't want this to end yet. "I want to see something first."

He raised an eyebrow but said nothing as I started back off down the street, eyes and cheeks still stinging a bit but purpose in my steps.

We made it several blocks before the sun set properly behind the tallest of the skyscrapers. I hurried, darting down a side alley and bursting through into a tiny park.

"Beth - what -?"

I didn't reply, only gestured. There was a bench placed on the far end of the park, butted up against the brick wall that was slowly being overtaken by ivy. I fell onto it as Harvey watched in confusion.

"We're not far from the Joja HQ," I said, a little breathless. "I used to come here some nights after work."

On the corner, outside the wrought-iron fence, I saw the first of the street lights flicker into view. Almost time.

"Look - " I said, pointing. Harvey turned to look just in time.

The trees filling the park were wound with thousands of tiny twinkle lights, each branch outlined in white bulbs. As the light faded from the sky, they illuminated, lighting the park with an ethereal glow. I heard Harvey's breath catch, and he sat heavily on the bench next to me.

"I grew up in the country," I said, explaining as he stared at the lights. "The stars were always my favorite thing. But there's too much light here to see them at night. So I used to come to this park and watch the lights turn on - it was the closest I could get."

"It's beautiful," he said.

"Not as good as the real deal, but pretty good," I said, smiling a little. I folded my hands in my lap and stared down at them, still reeling from the maelstrom of emotions from the last half-hour or so. Beside me, Harvey shifted, scooting back until he was braced against the back of the bench.  He relaxed, letting his arms fall at his sides.  His hand gently laid against the side of my leg.  I glanced up at him, seeing the thousands of lights reflected in his glasses. He turned to meet my eye and smiled.

Maybe - maybe he was right. Maybe I could have something to fight for.


	15. Chapter 15

Never had I imagined when I'd made the astoundingly wise decision to leave my life in the city to try and homestead a derelict Valley farm, that it would have involved legitimate spelunking and old-fashioned mining.

The pickaxe in my hand clattered against the stone and a fist-sized chunk of ore popped free. I scooped it up, marveling. These caves were filled with more valuable minerals than I'd ever seen before. Gunther had been pleased with my contributions to his collections, but I still found myself piling handfuls of rough gems into the shipping crate some nights.

The small pool of light cast by my torch flickered as I stood, the slight displacement of air the only breath of movement in the deep cavern. I hefted the pick once again and turned to find a new node when something flickered at the corner of my vision.

_"Be wary, lass. Those mines have been abandoned for ages - strange things tend to find their way into those long forgotten places,"_

The old man who'd appeared on my porch had warned me. Thus far I'd not encountered anything - strange, as he would have put it. My hand still strayed to the sheath at my side, finger tracing along the leather handgrip of my sword.

A sword. An honest-to-god broadsword dangled from my hip.

_"An old weapon, but dependable enough," he'd said, handing me the sword in_ _its scabbard. "Treat it with respect, and it will serve you well."_

And while the ren-fair nerd in me squealed with glee each time I strapped it on, the adult me with a functioning pre-frontal cortex was constantly reminded that I carried thirty inches of sharp steel, and was meant to use it.

I saw the flicker again, this time accompanied by a disgusting slurping sound. Slowly I turned, lowering the pickaxe and drawing the sword. Light glanced along the smooth steel, sending ribbons of reflection across the cavern.

_"The things in those caves - " the old man had said. "Well, best be on your guard."_

There was a terrifying screech, and the creature launched itself at me. I cried out and flung up my arm, blocking my face with the flat of my blade. Something viscous and sticky struck my skin, equal parts burning and terribly, horribly cold. I yelled again and reversed my hold on the hilt of the sword, swinging it back around and flinging the beast out of the circle of light. It gave another squeaking growl and I could hear the squelching sound of its approach. Nervously I waited, hoping this time to catch a glimpse of it.

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the creature crept into the sphere of light. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen before, like jello that had gained sentience or a slime mold grown bold. In the light its green skin shifted and swirled like an oil slick, reflecting glances of other colors. It left behind pools and patches of itself as it squelched and wriggled towards me.

To my disgust and horror, I began to hear the same sound echoed through the chamber. I glanced about wildly, hoping it was merely a reverberation. As more of the green ooze appeared outside my ring of fire, though, I realized I was dead wrong. I raised my sword.

***

It was dark. The torch must have gone out. I raised my arm to feel for it in the blackness and was rewarded with a spear of shooting pain.

"No, farmer, stay still."

My eyes cracked open and I realized it wasn't the torch, but my closed eyes. There was a lantern swinging somewhere, sending beams of light ricocheting off the stone walls. There was a grunt, and I turned my head. Another lance of pain. I could see a shaggy gray beard and matted animal fur - Linus.

"What - " I tried to speak, but found my throat clogged with dust.

"Quiet, it's alright." Linus stopped, and I realized he had been carrying me. I was briefly astounded by his strength, but the astonishment was short lived as his sudden halt jarred me. Agony broke across me, and my vision went dark.

There was a pounding sound and more light.

"Yoba, what happened?" The creak of a door and Robin's voice.

"I found her in the mines."

"What?!" I groaned as Linus recoiled and jostled me. I tried to blink and hazily saw Robin's shadow shift, blocking some of the light that spilled from her front door. "Demetrius! Call Harvey!"

"No - " I whispered, trying to lift a hand. I could see well more than five fingers at the end of it, and it was covered in something green - and something red. A wash of fear suddenly replaced the pain. What had happened to me? I heard Demetrius shouting in reply from within the house, and pounding footsteps.

"Linus! What's going on?"

That was Maru.

"I found her in the mines. She was being swarmed by slimes. The lantern scared most of them off but they got in a few good bites first. Some of them look pretty bad, and it looks like she might have got into a nest of toxic ones. The wounds are turning already."

"Come on, get her in here."

Linus shifted beneath me, hesitantly stepping over the threshold. I groaned again. As he spoke, the pain coalesced - no longer an overall ache. I could now feel individual places throbbing, the hot pain of open flesh.

"Here, lay her down. Dad's calling Harvey, and I can get her stable in the meantime. Yoba, this looks awful, she may need surgery."

"No, not Harvey -" I murmured, twisting my head as Linus laid me on a wooden bench.

"Shit, she's awake!" Maru cried, stumbling back slightly. She knocked against Linus, who steadied her. "How have you not passed out?" she asked rhetorically. I whimpered in reply.

"Doctor's on his way," Demetrius said, thrusting his head through the open doorway. I twisted to look at him and cried out.

"No, stop moving, farmer, at least until Harvey looks at you. Don't know what you've done to yourself. Mom, get me a blanket, would you?"

Robin rushed to comply, and Demetrius came back in clutching a handful of throw pillows.

"Don't worry, Harvey's on the way," Maru said, murmuring softly as she knelt and tucked the pillows under my head.

"No - Maru - don't want him to see - " I groaned, trying to push myself upright. She put a hand on my shoulder, stopping me from moving.

"Shut up," she said firmly. "You've nearly killed yourself. Let Harvey look, it's his job."

"But - "

As I tried to find an argument, the door flew open to reveal Harvey. He'd thrown a white coat over his pajamas, and it billowed around him like a cape. He quickly scanned the room and his eyes flashed as they settled on me. I drew back and bit back another scream of pain.

"Doctor! Thank Yoba," Linus said, relief evident in his voice. Maru pushed herself up off the ground and stepped back as Harvey dropped to his knees next to the bench. His fingers closed around my wrist, checking my pulse. I could feel it pounding as his skin touched mine and I screwed my eyes shut. I couldn't look at him, not like this.

There was a ripping sound. I jerked upright, swallowing another cry, to see him tearing open the leg of my jeans.

"What happened?" He barked, but not at me. Linus stepped forward, worrying a section of his fur tunic.

"I found her in the mines," he said. "She'd ended up in a slime nest."

"What color?" Harvey asked, then looked at Maru. "Get me some gauze and water." His voice was hard and authoritative, and Maru jumped without further argument.

"Green, but some of them had the little gold barbs - "

"Damn it. She got into the venomous ones."

"Harvey - " I whispered, trying to find some last vestige of energy. "Sorry - "

He glanced down at me and his gaze softened.

"Beth, what were you thinking?" He murmured. The grip on my wrist relaxed. As Maru returned with a bowl of steaming water, though, he reverted. "No, I'm afraid there's no time for that, Maru. I'm going to have to get her back to the clinic. I have the anti-venom there."

"Should you really move her? She can stay here, bring it back - " she offered, but Harvey shook his head.

"Can't chance it. Need to get it in her as quickly as possible, and sterilize the wounds. The water won't do anything for the venom."

"Alright, I'll call the mayor, get the truck up here -"

"No time," Harvey said shortly. He stood, and then gently slid his arms beneath me.

"What -?" I murmured weakly as he lifted me nearly effortlessly, his arms steady beneath my knees and shoulders. For the second time that night, heck, in my life, I found myself tucked tightly in someone's arms, as if I were weightless. I could feel Harvey's heart pounding terribly fast beneath his thin t-shirt and for a moment the pain seemed to lessen. My feet dangled, heavy boots knocking together as he lifted me bridal-style.

"What do you need from me, Doctor?" Maru asked.

"Nothing for now. If I need you, I'll call. For now, I just need to get the anti-venom." He turned, nodded at Robin and Demetrius. "Thank you, Linus."

"Just fix her up, Doc. She's a nice girl."

Harvey didn't respond, just pushed open the door with his foot and strode out into the darkness.

He walked purposefully, and surprisingly smoothly, not jostling me as Linus had done. His steps were careful but not slow. His heart still beat erratically.

"I'm sorry - " I finally managed to whisper as we traversed the path past the abandoned community center.

"What were you thinking?" He repeated, glancing down at me. I cringed but didn't reply. There was a long silence as he hurried across the meadow.  Too soon the sound of his footsteps changed - stone steps instead of the dirt path.

"Wait -" I croaked. Harvey stilled.

"What is it?"

"Put me down - I can walk - " I began to struggle in his arms, but he held tight.

"Like hell you can," he said. "What - "

"Don't want - anyone to see -" I panted, still trying to move out of his grip, pain bursting from each wound as I fought.

"See what?" he said. "You hurt?"

"No - " I felt my throat begin to burn, the hurt and confusion coming to a head. "Don't want - see us together - holding me - embarrass you," I finally blurted out, hot tears bubbling up. "Please Harvey - "

He stopped, even though his nerves were tense with desire to move. For a long moment, he was still, staring down at me, an indescribable emotion in his eyes.

"You seem to be suffering - " He cleared his throat, and continued, haltingly "Suffering under the delusion that I do not want to be seen with you." I stopped moving. He gave me a small smile, nearly invisible in the moonlight, but I could see the corners of his mustache rise. "Let me assure you, that is not the case."

I didn't reply, confused. Did he mean -?

He took advantage of my sudden stillness and moved again, this time at a faster clip. I yelped a little - speed meant more movement. His feet clattered on the steps as he raced across the square and into the clinic. It took me a moment to realize that the door was standing wide open - he hadn't stopped to close it when he left.

Quickly he transferred me to an open bed. A pair of shears seemed to materialize in his hands and he sliced open the leg of my pants, revealing a gruesome sight. The wound was jagged and oozing, green liquid bubbling across my skin in addition to the caked blood. I could only wonder at the other similar wounds on my arms and shoulders.

Harvey went a little pale, and for the first time, I saw his hands shake. He turned and came back with a plastic mask.

"Beth - this is more serious than I thought. You may require an operation. I'm going to give you some gas, and let you sleep. It will be easier for both of us. Don't worry, I'll be here when you wake up."

I frowned - the sudden jostling and movement had awakened the latent nerves, and my body was screaming in agony again. Black swam at the corners of my vision and red streamers occasionally shot across everything as well. I managed to nod, and he placed the mask over my face. The black swelled and everything disappeared.

***

There was a strange sound, like coarse sandpaper. I hadn't asked Robin to do any work on the house, and she was still waiting on the last payment towards the barn. What was it?

I stirred, and grumbled in my sleep. Wait, the chickens usually woke me up, their morning calls rousting me. No chickens, just the grating sound.

I opened my eyes, and immediately blinked in the bright white light. I was in a narrow bed, a thin sheet tucked tightly around me. I tried to sit up and was hit was a deep, bone-rattling ache.

"What the - ?"

My voice was thick and hoarse, and I raised a hand to swipe over my eyes. Only then did I notice the bandages.

Oh. Right. The mines.

The slimes, and Linus, Robin's house -

Harvey.

The sandpaper sound resolved itself into gentle snoring. I turned, slowly so as to not disturb the stitches I could now feel above my ribcage, and looked behind me.

Slumped in a chair at the head of the bed, still dressed in a white-coat thrown haphazardly over pajamas, was Harvey. His hands were tucked under his arms, and a paper mask was dangling from his neck.

"Good morning, sunshine,"

I yanked my head around and winced at the sudden pain. Maru stood in the doorway to the room, her uniform clean and pressed, a far cry from Harvey in the corner.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Better," I said, mentally probing at the wounds I had sustained. Yes, they ached, but with a healing sort of ache. I would survive.

"Good to hear," she said with a small smile. She turned to leave.

"Maru -" I said, careful not to raise my voice. She glanced back at me. "What about - ?" I inclined my head towards the sleeping doctor.

"I've cleared his schedule for today," She said, tugging at a handful of her curls. "Only one checkup anyway, and Haley's in the pink of health, she won't miss it." She grinned, leaning in the doorway. "You should sleep. You both need your rest."

She gave me one last smile and pulled the door closed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the long interim, but I'm back! I'll just let you know it may be a few weeks before I get another chapter done again, I've been up to my eyeballs in preparation for the summer camp I run that starts next week, and then when I get back I start a new job! After a year and a half of unemployment, I'm finally working again! 
> 
> Anyway, though, thanks again for reading this shlock. I'm glad you all like it, it really does mean the world to me that you guys are keeping up with me and my silly fantasies. Hope you enjoy!

It was almost Autumn.

There was a change in the air, maybe a scent, maybe a hint of coolness. Something about the color of the sky, shifting from that bright, almost fluorescent shade of blue that only came on the cloudless summer days to the deeper, more peaceful cobalt, the perfect backdrop for the auburn leaves.

Or maybe it was a change in the people. The days were growing shorter. A sort of hectic feeling accompanied the last days of summer, a rush, a panic to finish all those projects left for the warm months and begin the ones for the colder, to prepare the homes, batten the shutters, make sure there was enough firewood. It was an ancient feeling, one born of days gone past when the end of summer marked harvest and the long winter ahead.

Here in the Valley those ancient feelings seemed to come alive once more. When the last summer winds turned to fall breezes, when the first hint of color appeared on the trees and the grass lost its glossy shine -

I stumbled in my maunderings, catching a booted toe against another protruding boulder. The forest south of the farm was studded with these giant rocks, the undergrowth thick and heavy around them. Fallen logs and branches hid beneath the branching ferns and bushes as well, making walking tricky at times.

My healing bruises and cuts groaned a bit as I tripped. My left leg and ribcage, where the deepest and most infected of the slime bites had been, burned. I clutched at my side and hoped I had not opened the still-healing wounds. It had been several weeks since the debacle in the mines but Harvey had warned that the marks would take time to heal.

"Slime toxin screws with your body's healing," he'd explained, carefully stretching white gauze over my midsection as I turned away, blushing furiously and trying not to let my shirt ride up any higher than it had to. "It could take awhile for these to heal properly, and you'll likely have some nasty scars. Another side effect, unfortunately."

So any strenuous activity was out of the question. I'd eyed the last ears of corn with trepidation, wondering if I could pry them from the stalks without a great deal of effort. In the end, though, I'd bribed Jas and Vincent with a few gold each to finish out my summer harvest. I lost about a bushel of beans in the process and Jas returned to Marnie's ranch toting a sunflower taller than she was, but it was better than trying to force myself up and down the rows and still avoid pulling out stitches.

Instead, I took to the forest with a gathering basket, hoping to glean a few last spiceberries from the bushes. A few pounds of berries would lead to jam, and a couple cases of that would hopefully tide me over until the next season -

I stumbled again, this time catching my feet in the fork of a hidden branch.  
  
I swore, loudly, and startled a flock of starlings out of a nearby tree.

"Such language - " A voice said, and I jumped, dropping my basket full of berries and turning. Demetrius appeared, standing up from behind one of the bushes he appeared to have been crouching behind. He smiled, tucking a pen into the wire binding of his notebook. "How are you doing?" He nodded at the small protrusion on my side where the bandages strained against my shirt.

"I was doing better, until someone tried to give me a heart attack." I managed, slowly lowering myself to the ground to collect the spiceberries that had rolled into the undergrowth.

"Ah. My apologies - " he murmured, kneeling to help me collect my meager pickings. "I'm glad to hear that you are healing, though." He chuckled quietly to himself. "I'd prefer not to have someone batter down my door holding a bloody, slimy farmer again anytime soon."

I cringed.

"I'm really sorry about that - it wasn't really my choice - "

"Oh, oh no, I know that." Demetrius laughed again, retrieving the last of the wayward berries and tossing it into the basket. "Just a bit of a surprise in the early morning, you know?" He offered me a hand, which I gratefully took. "What are you doing out in the forest, surely there's enough crops on your farm to keep you more than busy?"

I frowned.

"Harvey's got me on no strenuous activity. I couldn't get the last of the harvest in as it was, and had to pay Jas and Vincent to help."

"And staggering through the woods and falling over logs isn't considered strenuous?"

I shrugged, feeling embarrassment creeping up my spine. Of course it wasn't. I should have stuck to making mayonnaise and sweeping out the farmhouse. Mentally I probed at the wounds on my ribs and leg, hoping that I hadn't loosened any of the stitches.

Demetrius was apparently a deft hand at reading facial expressions, for he burst into laughter.

"I guess not!" He said. "Well, I'm no doctor, but I am a scientist, and I agree with the doctor's prescription. You ought to head home and get some rest. Next planting window is coming up soon, yeah?"

"Mhmm, next week I think, if I'm healed enough."

"Traipsing around in the woods is not going to make you heal any sooner. Let me walk you home."

Demetrius led the way out of the particularly gnarled section of forest I had forced my way into, pointing out hidden boulders and pulling tree limbs out of the way. Finally, we emerged from the undergrowth near the spot where the strange woman and her cart usually appeared. I sighed, grateful to be back in the open air, and immediately wrapped an arm around my ribs as the wound there twinged. Demetrius glanced back at the sound but didn't comment.

"So, perhaps I'm prying, but you and Harvey - ?" he asked instead. I groaned.

"Nothing, I swear!" I said, not expecting this line of questioning from Demetrius, the 'scientist'. _Didn't he have better things to worry about?_

"Alright, alright, I can see it's a point of contention," he said, throwing up his hands in defense. I found myself cracking a smile. At least he wasn't pressing. Slowly we made our way through the tall grass back towards Marnie's ranch and the road north to the farm.

"I will say, though," Demetrius suddenly said, breaking the silence as we stomped through the field below my house. "I've known the doctor for a long time. I've never seen him race through the dark night for just anyone before. And if he did, they were likely to get a blistering reprimand for waking him." He shrugged. "I'm just observing," he added. "That's my job."

I painfully made my way up the three stairs to my porch. The wound on my leg sent lances of pain up and down the limb and I winced - I'd definitely overdone it. I turned to glance back down at Demetrius and shrugged.

"I don't know what to tell you," I said tiredly. "There's nothing, even though - " I stopped myself before I could repeat Harvey's words, that night on the top of the stone stairs -

"Even though?" Demetrius prompted.

"No, nevermind. Thanks for walking me back, I appreciate the help."

"Not a problem at all, farmer. Let me know if there's anything else I can do. I'll see you later tonight?"

"Tonight?" I asked, one hand on the doorknob.

"The moonlight jellies? Down on the beach?" Demetrius asked, a puzzled expression clouding his forehead. "I sent you a letter last week - " He turned and glanced at my mailbox. The little flag stood proudly and the corner of several envelopes protruded from the door.

"I'm terrible about remembering the mail," I said, a little sheepishly.

"I can see that." Demetrius smiled. "It's an annual thing - a school of bioluminescent jellyfish always pass by the beach this time of year on their migration path. The whole town comes down to see. It's quite a spectacle. You're welcome to join Robin and I if you like. Matter of fact, why don't we meet you here tonight and walk down with you?"

I could tell the invitation was more of an excuse to make sure I didn't overexert myself again, but the jellyfish sounded too tempting.

"That - that would be great, thanks, Demetrius," I said, giving him a small smile.

"Great, we'll see you tonight then." He nodded and headed up across the farm towards the northern road.

***

Turns out I was very grateful for Demetrius' invitation. With him on my left and Robin and Maru on my right, I made it to the beach with little incident, although Robin had to point out a few potholes on the road and once Maru darted ahead to knock a loose cobblestone aside. Each time I found myself flushing and apologizing profusely, but they each waved it away with a laugh. By the time we'd reached the beach I was more embarrassed than I'd ever been, but also a great deal more comfortable around Maru's family.

"Wait, where's Sebastian?" I asked as we crossed the stone bridge, suddenly aware of his absence. I heard Demetrius make a harrumphing noise in the darkness at my side.

"He decided to come down earlier with Sam and Abigail," Robin replied, shooting a warning glance at her husband. Demetrius muttered something darkly under his breath and Robin swiftly changed the subject. I noticed Maru staring down at the stone walkway.

The surf pounded against the sand as we finally began to pick our way across the dunes. The stars overhead were painfully sharp and bright against the dark sky, and the moon was just beginning to rise on the horizon. I thought of the trees back in the Zuzu City Park, my stars for years in the haze-choked city, and felt my chest fill with indescribable emotion. _There is no comparison,_ I thought. _None at all._

I heard Maru cry out as she waved at Penny, and suddenly bolted across the sand to meet with her friend. Demetrius yelled after her to be careful, taking a few steps in the same direction. Robin caught my elbow lightly as I stumbled in the sand, and when I glanced up at her, she smiled.

"Demetrius is a bit protective -" she said, nodding towards her husband, who was slowly stalking his daughter across the beach. "Maru is his pride and joy, and he's very careful with her. I wish I could say the same about Sebastian. The two of them have never really gotten along."

I thought of the dark-haired man, and the sadness I saw in his eyes and shoulders so often. Suddenly I felt a great surge of sympathy for him.

"Don't let it worry you too much, farmer. It's something that will work itself out eventually. Demetrius is a good man, he loves his family. He just butts heads at times. Besides, I think he's taken a bit of a liking to you as well."

"Me?" I asked, feeling the sand change to wood beneath my feet as the two of us stepped onto the dock. "I thought he was angry with me, disturbing you when I -"

Robin interrupted with a laugh.

"Goodness no!" she said, patting my arm lightly. "He's just been concerned. You're close to Maru's age, and he's just very fatherly."

I heard a shout, and we both turned to see Demetrius waving a hand at Maru, who had rolled up the legs of her jeans and was wading into the surf, Penny staring from the shoreline.

"Oh dear," Robin said. "You see what I mean? It comes out as overprotective at times. I better go call him down. Will you be alright here?" she asked.

We'd walked to the end of one of the docks, and I gratefully sat, letting my feet dangle inches above the water. I nodded.

"I'll be fine. Thanks for the help, Robin."

"My pleasure. I'll check back with you later." She turned and jogged across the docks towards her daughter and husband. "Demetrius! Let her be - she's only wading!"

I snorted, and reached down to pull off my shoes so that errant sea spray wouldn't soak my boots. I could hear the whispering voices of the townsfolk as they all filed onto the beach or the docks, their talking kept at a low level as they all approached the shore. I wondered how this would be - I'd heard of bioluminescence before, but seeing an ocean filled with glowing shapes - my fingers clutched at the splintery edge of the dock in anticipation.

There was the sound of footsteps, heavy soles clattering against the planks, and a shape eased itself down beside me.

"This seat taken?"

I turned to see starlight glittering off of spectacle lenses.

"Harvey!" I said, a bit too loudly. I thought I heard Maru, newly ushered back onto the docks by her father, giggle in the distance. The doctor continued to peer at me curiously. "No, no, please, help yourself," I said, tripping over my words. He smiled and leaned back on his elbows. The green coat was gone again, and he had rolled his shirtsleeves up past his elbows. For a long moment, I found myself staring at his arms, eyes drifting down to his hands.

"You know, I've always enjoyed this," he said, jerking my attention away from his wrists and knuckles. I felt my face warm and hoped the darkness covered the flush. "The jellyfish, I mean. I've always come down here, even before the migration begins. I always hope to see them a night or two in advance, the forerunners, you know?" He turned and looked at me sideways. "Never happens, though. I'm sure Demetrius could explain why. But it's always so perfectly timed - the whole school, floating on our shore, for just a few hours one night a year. It's beautiful."

"I - I can't wait," I said, having nothing more meaningful to say.

"Usually I wait over by the tide pools. More private," he said, staring back over the ocean, the moonlight reflecting on the wave caps and leaving streaks of silver in the water. His mustache twitched, and I thought he was smiling. "Nice to have someone to wait with this year, though. It's been a while since I've had a really close friend."

My stomach and heart clenched at once, and I clutched at my middle. Harvey seemed to notice the motion, and sat up, leaning towards me.

"Beth? Are you alright? Is the slime bite acting up?"

"No, no - I'm fine. Slight stomachache, that's all." I said. He pulled back but didn't seem convinced. "Honestly." I gave him a small smile.

"Alright," he said, relaxing slightly.  "You should come back by soon, let me look at those and change the dressings."

Whatever other admonishments he meant to give, though,  were interrupted by a shrill cry.

"There they are!" Jas called from somewhere near Willy's shop. I pushed myself up, straining to see. A faint glow could be seen on the horizon, and quickly the waves began to push knots of pulsing light towards the shore.

My breath caught in my throat as the first tentative jellies drifted towards the docks. Blue light suffused the water and gave everything a surreal glow. I could feel everyone around me doing the same - peering into the water with hushed voices and stymied breath, watching the jellyfish float, their transparent mushroom bodies expanding and contracting in time with the delicate glow.

"It's beautiful - " I breathed, feeling an incredible urge to slip into the water with the creatures. Instead, I gripped the dock even tighter, fingers digging into the wood.

I felt Harvey shift next to me, and thought he was leaning further forwards as well. As he did, his hand gently slid across my own, his skin warm and soft. There was a jolt, different from the times he had held my ankle, or taken my pulse, or even the times he'd held me tight in an embrace. This was something new.

I jerked my hand back, giving myself a jagged splinter in the process. I bit back a yelp at the sudden pain.

"Sorry," I murmured, glancing up at him as I pulled my hand closer to myself. He'd obviously accidentally touched it as he pulled himself up. _I should try to take up less space_. I laid my hand back on the wood next to me, nearly touching my leg.

For a moment, though, I let myself enjoy the feeling of his skin on mine -

Harvey was still for a long while, looking out over the ocean. I saw the stars and the jellies reflected in the lenses of his glasses, obscuring his bright eyes. Then, slowly, he reached across the distance between us and once again took my hand. He peered down at my palm for a second, then with deft fingers gently tugged the splinter from the web of flesh beside my thumb. I thought he would drop my hand then, let it return to its place next to me. Instead, slowly, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

My heart pounded hard.

He stared down at our clasped hands for a moment, then looked up at me. He turned, and the reflections disappeared from the glass. His eyes were clear and stared right into my core. He smiled.

There was an intake of breath from the people standing on the docks, and I wondered if they had all seen Harvey take my hand. I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Look!" I heard a voice, perhaps Mayor Lewis, and I felt my shoulders turn inwards.

"Look - " Harvey repeated, pointing with his other hand. I followed the line he indicated and noticed a green glow approaching the dock. A jelly bobbed there, just beneath my feet, glowing with a strong light, different from its blue brethren.

"A rare green jellyfish - " someone whispered behind me.

"It's an omen!" Someone else said.

"It's good luck!" a third voice added.

I looked at the pulsing creature for a moment, then back at my own hand, still wrapped in Harvey's. _Good luck indeed,_ I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowest of slow-burns. 16 chapters and I finally let them hold hands. You all are going to hate me by the time this is over.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BAAAAAACK

"Are you going to be planting any pumpkins this season, dearie?"

Evelyn peered over my shoulder curiously as Pierre tallied up my order. I grinned and hastily sorted through the paper packets of seeds, finally holding up a pair decorated with orange shapes.

"Oh, grand. The mayor has me in charge of seasonal decor, you know - " she rambled off, eyes sparkling as she talked about fall flowers and hay bales and corn shocks. I hid a smile as I turned back to Pierre, making sure the canvas back of packets matched the order form.

"So as soon as you get some ripe squashes you let Granny know. I'll send Alex over to haul them back for me." She smiled, patting me gently on the back. I scooped up my bag. I'd nearly made it out the door when she spoke again. "Speaking of Alex - " she added, chuckling. I froze and groaned internally at the tone. Was everyone in this town a matchmaker? "He's a strong boy, you know," Evelyn continued. "He spends enough time with those weights of his. I"m sure he'd be a help on your farm." Her rheumy eyes were now shrewd and calculating. As she spoke she'd crept closer, her usual shuffling wobble taking on a distinct nonchalance. She laid a hand on my forearm. "Besides, he's a handsome boy. Just think of him out there - tilling the field, hauling hay - probably without a shirt -"

"Granny!" I said, aghast.

"Come on now, Evelyn, leave the poor girl alone," a new voice called. I whipped around to see Caroline emerge from the stock room, a stack of boxes in her hands. She laughed, but deposited her burden on the counter and strode purposefully towards us.

"Now Caroline, my Alex is a wonderful young man - " Evelyn began before the shopkeeper cut her off.

"Yes, and I'm sure Haley thinks so as well," she said pointedly. "Alex is a lovely young man, but he's more than capable of making his own decisions - like girlfriends," she added pointedly.

Evelyn, still frowning at the mention of Haley, cast a furtive look in my direction.

"That girl hasn't the sense Yoba gave a goose," she grumbled. "Would be nicer to see him settled out on the farm," she sighed, a little wistfully. "Maybe I'd even live to see great-grandchildren - "

A garbled sound escaped from my mouth and Caroline frowned, losing the genteel customer service manner.

"Enough, Evelyn," she said, a decided edge to her voice. "She's not even been here a year yet, let her settle in! A woman's job is not marriage or children. She's got enough going on on that farm without your interference."

I stared at Caroline, surprised at the sudden defense. "Now go on, I'm sure George is chomping at the bit for those chops." She nodded at the wrapped package of meat the older woman was carrying. Evelyn huffed but turned towards the door. with one further lingering, almost longing look in my direction, she left, the bell jangling as the door swung closed.

"Well!" Caroline said, both fists propped on her hips. "I know she wasn't very fond of Haley, but that was a little much!" She looked back at me and her gaze softened. "Sorry about that, she can be a bit - pushy - at times."

"Thank you - " I murmured. I realized I'd been clutching my bag to my chest as a sort of shield, and finally relaxed enough to place it atop a display of canned corn. Caroline shook her head, dismissing my thanks.

"You're not the first," she said with little preamble. "I don't know if that's comforting or not. Evelyn cozied right up to Leah when she moved in too, but that died off pretty quick when they found out she was an artist. Not an acceptable profession in Mr. and Mrs. Mullner's eyes." Caroline scoffed. "My Abigail was never ladylike enough to draw their attention, and Maru was a bit too young. I think the only other girl in town that Evelyn would find acceptable would be Penny, but don't let Pam hear you discussing that." She frowned again. "That's a whole 'nother kettle of fish, though."

I rubbed at my arms, a little awkwardly. The farm kept me somewhat apart from the rest of the town, and, so it seemed, from most of the gossip. Having it dumped on me all at once was overwhelming.

"Besides," Caroline continued, oblivious. "Alex would never make it as a farmer," she said. "All those muscles are for show or gridball. Try seeing that one planting beans or gathering eggs." She gave a short laugh, and I found myself grinning.

"'Jock' isn't really my type," I offered, and Caroline gave another hoot of laughter.

"From what I've been hearing, seems like your type is more 'doctor'," she said, her voice dropping to a more conspiratorial tone. I felt my cheeks color and I instinctively glanced at the wall separating the shop from Harvey's clinic and apartment. Caroline smiled again, this time noticing the knee-jerk reaction. Her tone shifted once again, this time to something warm and comforting. "Abby told me about what you said at the Stardrop a while back," she said, reaching out to pat my arm. "It's a small town, and word travels fast."

I sighed, but the motion felt stiff and unnatural.

"Wish it would leave me out of it," I grumbled.

Caroline gave me a deep, penetrating look, an assortment of emotions dancing across her face. Finally, she made a sort of _tch_ sound and grabbed my hand.

"Here, you come with me." She tugged me away from the shop door.

"Wait - my bag - " I protested as she drug me across the store.

"Pierre will take care of it, " she announced, shooting her husband a look. I heard him scramble from behind the counter as she pulled me through the back door of the shop.

What I had always assumed was a stock room turned out to be a narrow hall, connecting the shop to Pierre and Caroline's home. Astounded, I allowed myself to be pulled down the corridor into a cozy, well-appointed dining room.

"You sit," Caroline said, pushing me towards one of the chairs. She turned, then belatedly added "Tea or coffee?"

"Er, tea when I can get it -" I said, still a little unsure. Caroline didn't reply, only produced an electric kettle seemingly from midair and set it heating. A delicate cup came from a cabinet and she placed it on the table before me.

"Alright," She said finally, eyeing me through the cloud of steam erupting from the spout of the kettle. "No one else is listening."

I was silent for a moment, staring at the china cup. What did she want from me? True, we were secluded in the back of her house, but Caroline was one of the town's chattiest women -

The kettle beeped, and I could hear the water burbling within. Caroline scooped up a tin and held it out.

"All the tea bags end up in here," she said. "Take your pick."

I felt around inside the tin, grabbing a sachet at random. The red tag proclaimed it as English Breakfast. I dumped it into the empty cup as Caroline poured boiling water over it. A bag of Lady Grey landed in her own cup and she filled it as well, raising the cup to her face.

"Gossip is a funny thing, " she said, inhaling the aroma of the steeping tea. "It seems harmless, inane. Just chatter. And in the Valley it seems like everyone's private business is just on display - there's no secrecy, no hiding something. Even things people think they've buried tend to wiggle out eventually. Like Marnie and Mayor Lewis. Or Maru - her father can deny it all he likes, but it's definitely Haley that has her spending all that time down in town. Yoba forbid someone tries to hide a pregnancy - I remember all the hoopla before Jodi had Vincent, and that was planned! We all know everything about everyone, so anything new is novel - like you." She paused to remove the tea bag from her cup and took a long drink. I did the same, leaving the bag on the saucer and spooning in a liberal amount of sugar.

"What I'm trying to say," Caroline continued "Is that no one thinks less of you, no one is trying to belittle you. You're just the newest news we've had in a good while. But if you don't want to talk, that's fine." She paused, swirling the liquid in her cup. "Maybe the real question, though, is why you don't want to."

I couldn't meet her gaze. Instead, my eyes wandered to a small window. It looked out over the cliff wall that bordered this part of town. From outside you couldn't see this area hidden by buildings and trees. I was surprised to see a small flower patch and a very old, battered tire swing. Something from Abigail's childhood?

"I just don't want to embarrass him, you know?" I found myself saying, still staring out the window. My fingers knotted tightly around the comforting warmth of the teacup.

Caroline didn't immediately reply, electing to take another drink. Her silence seemed to open the floodgates, though, and words began to fall rapidly from my mouth.

"I'm just - I'm so unremarkable. I'm nothing, really. I'm not pretty, or funny, or a great conversationalist. I'm not interesting. I'm a mucky farmer who used to be a phone jockey. I'm not talented or successful. Harvey is all of those things." His name burned as it touched my lips - no going back now. "He's intelligent and cultured and kind. He's well respected here and I'm just a random stranger who's wandered into town. What makes me think I would be desirable at all to someone like him?" Abruptly the stream cut off. My hands dropped limply into my lap and I looked up at Caroline finally. "What would I even have to offer?" I asked sadly.

"Who says you have nothing to offer?" Caroline asked, teacup meeting table with a delicate clatter. She leaned forward and braced her chin on the backs of her hands.

"I - I mean, no one has ever wanted me before," I said thickly. "I've always been alone. I've just never been - enough." I felt my throat seize and I choked on the last word. What could I possibly have that Harvey would want? What could I give him that he couldn't get from a thousand other people? My cheeks burned and I throttled down a desire to cry.

Caroline cleared her throat but didn't speak for a moment. Silence descended and I could hear birdsong outside the window, muffled voices from the shop. My hands slowly moved from my lap to the tabletop. My thumb started rubbing small circles on the back of my left hand, a pattern I quickly recognized as the same on Harvey had traced there the night of the jellies.

"Seems to me that's for him to decide," Caroline finally said, a bit cryptically.

"What do you mean?"

"Is he 'enough' for you?" she asked, using my own words against me.

I hesitated. There'd been times in the past when I thought that, but eventually was left lacking. Absently I thought of Jeremy, of that hopeless and fruitless longing I always felt around him. How I waited for weeks to see him, hoping for any small scrap of affection, and always left feeling empty. How no matter how much I poured into him, he never seemed to return the favor.

_But Harvey -_

I smiled a little, thinking of him. The warmth of his skin, his soft eyes, the twitch of his mustache when he smiled. How every meeting left me happy, if a little confused. How he didn't hesitate like every other person I'd met, how his hands met mine with no delay. How he'd wrap me in his embrace like he didn't care what the world thought, that it didn't matter how it looked, to be seen with the likes of me. How he'd bandaged my ankle, or sat with me under the stars, held me as I cried. He'd ran through the darkness only to carry me back to his clinic. I shivered slightly at the memory of that feeling - being held in his arms like I was nothing. The sight of him sleeping at my bedside after he'd worked through the night to bandage my wounds.

"He's more than enough," I murmured finally.

I missed the broad smile that curved across Caroline's face. By the time I looked back up at her, she was busily draining her cup.

"Ah, well then," she said, smacking her lips appreciatively. "I guess that's it."

"That's it?"

"Mhmm." Caroline stood and collected our cups.

"What do you mean?"

"Listen, farmgirl," she said, looking down at me. "The doc has been my neighbor since he first set up shop in this little town, the ink still wet on that MD. I know he is kind and bright and also painfully lonely. I watched him awkwardly flirt with Maru before he realized he was nearly fifteen years her senior, then awkwardly ignore her for months afterward. The community loves our doctor, but I think sometimes he worries that no one will ever love _Harvey_." she paused and gave me a small smile. "If you think that's a possibility, then I promise you - _you are enough_."

Something warm settled in the pit of my stomach at Caroline's words. I could be enough. I could keep him from being lonely. I could make him happy.

Could I love him?

 _You already do_ , a quiet voice seemed to whisper.

"Thank you, Caroline," I said slowly, feeling the glowing warmth spread through my chest.

"You know," she said, chuckling slightly. "We love our farmer too," she grinned as she pulled me upright and chivvied me back down the hall.

Pierre handed me my canvas sack without comment when I returned to the shop. The packets of seeds were sorted neatly by type and bound tidily with string. Among the paper packages, though, was a cardboard container of blueberries. I groaned.

Among all the ruckus, I'd forgotten the ad from the bulletin board. Now though, the carton of berries destined for Maru next door seemed to taunt me. _Just drop them off when you go to Pierre's_ , I'd thought. _No problem_.

The few steps to the clinic door seemed like miles. The golden glow in my stomach flickered - I wasn't ready to see him, not yet. Give me a month or so to figure this all out! But my traitorous hand reached for the doorknob anyway.

"Maru sat behind the reception desk as I peered inside, the only figure in the otherwise abandoned room. At the sound of the door, she glanced up and grinned at me.

"Well, hey there farmgirl!" she said, brightening at the carton in my hands. "Are those my blueberries?"

"Last of the summer harvest," I said, approaching the desk. "Thank Vincent, he did all the picking." My hand went to my side at the scar there. "Good timing, these were about ready to be jam."

"That would have been good too," Maru said, reaching for the small box and eagerly popping a berry into her her mouth. "Not as good as fresh, though," she groaned, savoring the taste. "Perfect." She grinned, her teeth already turning purple. Hastily she scrambled a handful of coins out of her pocket. "Thanks again, friend."

"No problem," I said, sliding the coins into my own pocket and smiling a bit at the word 'friend'. "Guess I'll be heading back."

"See you round, farmgirl," Maru said, giving a small wave. I turned, a potent sense of relief. I didn't have to see Harvey. I could go home, sort out this new information -

"Beth?"

_Shit._

The double doors swung open and a head of tousled brown hair poked out. I glanced back over my shoulder, trying to appear laid-back and not as if my knees were now trembling.

"Hey, Harvey," I said softly. He smiled, and I felt my heart turn over.

"I thought I heard your voice," he said, pushing open the door and coming fully into the waiting room. "H-how are you feeling?" he asked, shoving at his glasses. Did he stutter? I hadn't heard him stutter since our first meeting, back when he was a nervous wreck -

"Doing fine," I managed, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans to keep them from fluttering off of my wrists. Come on, say something else. Be witty, or funny - I chastised myself, trying desperately to avoid looking like a fool.

"I was wondering - " Harvey interrupted my mental lambasting, and I jerked. He'd taken a few steps closer and now I had to look up to meet his gaze. "I was just thinking -" he stammered again, before taking a deep breath.

_What in the world -?_

"Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow evening?" he asked, all in a rush. His eyes shone brightly behind the lenses as he looked at me intensely.

My heart clattered against my ribs. _Did he just -?_

"Yeah, that would be great," I heard myself say easily. His face broke into a wide grin, teeth flashing beneath the mustache.

"Wonderful. Wonderful!" he said, his voice effervescent. "I'll meet you at the Saloon, then? How does seven sound?"

"Perfect," I managed, without squeaking.

"Great - " he made an abortive gesture, as if to reach out to me, then thought better of it. "Well, I've got some paperwork to get finished. But I'll see you tomorrow night." He smiled again, then turned. As he pushed open the double doors, he glanced back at me and waved, still smiling broadly. The door swung shut behind him.

I stood, rooted to the spot until Maru broke into a cheer.

"Well, that certainly took you long enough!" she crowed, thumping the counter with her fist. I shook free of my stillness and immediately felt weak. Maru grinned at me. "Remember what I told you, farmgirl," she said, nearly laughing. "Be nice to our doctor!" I smiled weakly in reply, then bonelessly headed for the door. The cobblestone square blurred beneath my feet as I rushed towards the relative safety of the wooded path back to my farm.

He'd asked me to dinner.

He'd asked me on a date.

Harvey.

The golden warmth I'd felt earlier seemed to coalesce, building in pressure within my chest cavity. It rose into my throat, seeking any escape. I opened my mouth, wondering if I would laugh or scream -

And burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Sorry for the long delay, have some ridiculous fluff to compensate! Thanks again for everyone who reads this, it really means so much to me. My day is brightened incredibly whenever I get a notification of kudos, and I hang on to the emails with comments for days, just rereading them and grinning. Again, thank you so so much for reading my garbage.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asldkfjsldkjfsldhf I love you guys so much! Thanks for sticking around even when I go AWOL. I'm sorry I've been absent, there's been so much IRL stuff going on with me. Every time I think things are going to quiet down for a little bit, something else earth-shattering comes along and throws a spanner in the works. Hope this highly, HIGHLY self-indulgent fluff makes up for it.

Leaves danced across the cobblestones, reds and bronzes shining in the late evening sunlight. A light breeze ghosted through the town square, sending another flurry of leaves rushing across the ground. The sound was soothing, rustling and crisp. It did nothing, however, for the knot of anxiety in my lower intestine.

In the tree over my head a squirrel chattered, stowing away an acorn in a knothole. The small fenced area behind Jodi's house was quiet and less-traveled, perfect for me to bide my time. I leaned against the trunk, watching the center of town and hoping the persistent ache in my stomach did not end in me vomiting in one of the berry bushes. I glanced at my watch for the thousandth time that day - 6:15.

I'd always been habitually early, and anxiety made that facet of my personality worse. I'd been sitting on the edge of my bed bouncing my legs since four, when I'd realized my shaking hands had dropped a half-packet of seeds into a single plot and I'd finally given up on getting any planting done. Instead, I agonized over my few clothing options and even carefully applied a few strokes of mascara to my eyelashes. At six I'd bolted, knowing full well it did not take me an hour to walk into town but needing something to do besides sit on my bed and tear away at my cuticles. Molly mewled at me as I pulled the door shut, breathing a sigh of relief.

I watched the door of the clinic intensely. The idea of meeting him in the square terrified me more than the fact that in forty-five minutes I would be on my first date with him, sitting in a public space, being together -

My hands started to shake again and I shoved them into my pockets.

I would just wait. No problem at all, I could wait until I saw him leave the clinic. He was a punctual man, he'd leave in plenty of time for me to wait a moment, then follow. He'd see me, beckon me to a table, maybe pull out my chair -

The squirrel squeaked overhead, and the acorn bounced off my head.

The sun crept towards the horizon, sending streamers of rich gold across the cobbles. I breathed in, hoping the autumn air would calm my nerves. The deep inhale made my ribs twinge, and I almost laughed. Harvey had saved me from the slimes, bandaged my wounds, sat watch over me all night. I was nervous about a date with him? Some of the anxiety loosened.

Time ticked by as I watched the clinic door. I saw Sam open the door and exit a few moments later, a white paper packet clutched in one hand. Pierre turned off the lights above the general store and I saw the door jolt as he locked the bolts. But still no Harvey. I glanced down at my watch. 6:55.

Maybe I'd missed him? Maybe he'd already left the clinic before I got to town, maybe Maru was there watching the desk and he'd long since gone to get a table, was waiting alone in the Saloon -

I bit my lip and finally left my hiding place, striding across the square in what I hoped looked like a confident walk. I clenched my fist as I reached for the door of the Saloon, trying to keep my fingers from trembling.

Sensation struck me as I tugged open the door - the soft music from the jukebox, light and warmth, the smell of bread and marinara sauce.

"Evening, farmer!" Gus called, waving the rag he'd been using to wipe out a glass with. I gave him a small smile and nod before glancing around the bar. Pam was perched on her usual stool at the end of the counter. I heard the clatter of billiard balls - Abigail and Sebastian were bickering at the pool table. My heart sank, though, when I didn't see Harvey. I took another look at my watch. 7:01.

Quietly I slid into the booth in the back, hidden slightly behind the massive bear carving. I could see the door, but hopefully, no one would look too closely at me. Nervously I thumbed the button on my watch again, and couldn't help looking at the illuminated screen. 7:02.

"Well, hey there stranger!" A cheerful voice caroled above me. I glanced up into the beaming face of Emily, her hair the only thing brighter than her smile. "How you doing, farmer? Haven't seen you here in a while!" She grinned, propping one fist on her hip. "What can I get for you?"

"Um, just some water for now, please, Emily," I said, quietly. Her smile slipped a notch. "Just water? Don't want to order something stronger? Some food?"

I winced.

"I, ah, I'm waiting for someone," I managed to murmur, feeling the flush climb my cheeks as my stomach clenched again. 7:03.

"Oh?" Emily said, then seemed to stop. "Oh!" Her smile lit up again. "Well, good for you, farmer!" She bustled off, stopping only to whisper in Gus' ear. He stopped polishing a pilsner glass, then grinned himself and nodded. I sank a little lower in my seat. A moment later Emily returned with a glass of ice water, plopping it down atop a coaster.

"Just let me know when you're ready, hun," she said, giving me a saucy wink. I smiled feebly in return.

There was a moment of silence as the jukebox switched records. I heard Abigail swear in the next room and the twangy sound of a cue stick bouncing off the ball. Then, music rushed in to fill the quiet.

I watched as the condensation on my water glass slowly saturated the coaster beneath it. Emily returned once or twice to refill the cup, each time looking a little more concerned. I jerked each time the bell above the door jangled, admitting Leah or Clint, each of whom wandered to their usual haunts. Each time I felt Emily's eyes on me as I settled back into my seat.

When the green digits on my watch balefully read 9:00, Emily approached my booth with a plate.

"You should probably eat something," she said quietly, setting the dish gently on the edge of the table. I looked up from where I'd been slowly shredding a napkin to see the plate of french fries. My stomach gurgled uncomfortably. "On the house," Emily said, before softly patting my shoulder. The fries were hot and crisp and tasted like ash as I tried to choke them down. I managed only a handful before pushing the plate away and wearily resting my head on my arms.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Around ten I got to my feet, the tension in my limbs finally having worked itself into numbness. I pulled a few coins from my pocket and laid them on the table, pointedly not meeting Emily's eyes as I pushed open the door and stepped out into the night.

Cold had swept into the town and I shivered, not having thought to bring a jacket. The filmy sleeves of my one nice-looking shirt did little to keep me warm as I slowly made my way across the square and towards the path that would take me home. I felt tears burbling in the back of my throat and I wanted to be back in the farmhouse before anyone saw me cry. Again.

I was so stupid. What made me think someone like Harvey would have actually wanted to be seen with me? It was laughable, really. Only me, a hopeless romantic would ever think he'd actually have been interested. I rubbed at my upper arms fiercely, trying to get some heat from the friction. My fingernails scratched at the bare skin.

Yoba, I _knew_ I was an embarrassment. I knew he couldn't actually have feelings for me. I was such a child, letting myself get caught up in a fantasy. I should just go back to the farm, plant my pumpkins, and die. Alone.

A harsh laugh bubbled up and I spat it on the cobblestones, sides shaking. What made me think I deserved someone like Harvey? Someone kind and gentle, smart, handsome -

I realized too late that tears were streaming down my cheeks as I convulsed. I hurried my step, wanting even more to be home. I heard a door swing open, saw the shadow stretch long across the square, but I paid it no mind.

"Beth?" I heard his voice, and I wanted to run. I took a few steps in the opposite direction before the exhaustion that suffused it brought me up short. I turned.

Harvey stood in the doorway of the clinic, staring at me through bloodshot eyes. We looked at each other through the darkness for a long moment, his face haggard, mine streaked with the cheap mascara I'd tried to apply that afternoon. He seemed entranced, frozen. Then, overhead, the lamp flickered to life. Soft light filled the square, and he jerked. He tugged at his sleeve, yanking it up almost to his elbow to see his watch. What little color remaining in his face drained away as he saw the time. Slowly he looked back up at me.

"Beth - Beth, I'm so sorry -"

I felt my face go hard, my lips pressed into a thin line as I tried to keep from bursting into sobs. I turned and strode towards the path, hoping to disappear into the woods. Instead, Harvey flung himself in front of me.

"Wait, you don't understand - " he said as he blocked the path. I stumbled a bit, but turned on my heel and headed for the stone steps leading up into the meadow. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't face him -

"Please, Beth!" He grabbed my wrist. The pain in his voice was too much, and I glanced backwards. Only then did I realize he was still in the green lab coat, that the white shirt underneath was stained dark with fluid. The hand on my arm was sheathed in latex. I met his gaze, seeing the abject misery that filled his eyes.

"Harvey, what happened?" I finally managed.

"Shane -" he said. He suddenly noticed the gloves on his hands. Gingerly, as though he was afraid I would run again, he released my arm, then peeled the gloves from both hands and shoved them into his pockets. "Shane nearly drank himself to death. Marnie found him out near the sewer, unconscious. I had to intubate him, pump his stomach." He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up at odd angles. "I'm so, so sorry. I couldn't leave, I couldn't even get word out what was going on. He's only now at a point where I could leave for a moment and I had no idea what time it was - " He looked up at me. He was hunched over, and several steps below me. I shivered, running my hands up along my arms again. Harvey's eyes seemed to clear a bit, and he stood straighter.

"You're going to catch something if you aren't careful," he said, sounding a bit more normal. He fumbled for a moment, then slipped off the green coat, draping it over my shoulders. The warmth of his body tingled against my arms, and I couldn't help but take a deep breath. Antiseptic, coffee, the slightest hint of honey -

The floodgates burst. I clutched the coat tight around my throat and sobbed.

"I thought - I thought you changed your mind - " I hiccuped, trying to speak through the tears. "I know I'm not much, and you're so good - there's no way you could ever really want me - no one ever wants me - " I couldn't even make sense of what I was saying. My eyes clenched shut but tears still managed to squeeze through as I babbled.

I felt Harvey's arms close around me. He'd closed the distance between us and pulled me tight against him. I felt his heart thrumming, and his hand gently cupped the back of my head.

"I don't want to embarrass you. That's all I'm good for, an embarrassment. I'll never amount to much, you deserve so much better than me -" I murmured, still shaking.

The hand behind my head moved, and I tried to pull away, sure he wanted to let go, to make me move, to be rid of me.

Instead, his fingers traced along my jaw and beneath my chin, tilting my head up. In the light of the lamp, his glasses glittered. I could see the weariness in his eyes, but there was something else there too, something deep and primal, but warm and safe at the same time -

Harvey interrupted my attempts at deciphering his thoughts. Instead, he leaned forward and touched his lips to mine.

Warmth exploded in my stomach. My hands clenched in the fabric of his shirt, pulling myself closer. I felt his fingers on the small of my back, his other hand wrapped around the back of my neck. I tasted bitter coffee and peppermint. One of my hands snaked up to tangle in his hair.

I felt his glasses push against my nose, and he laughed, breaking the kiss. I opened my eyes as he adjusted the frames, pushing them back up the bridge of his nose but not releasing me from his grip. He pressed his forehead against mine, his green eyes boring into me.

"You are not an embarrassment," he said, his voice deep and hoarse. "You are kind, and smart, and brave, maybe a little foolhardy. You are the strongest person I know. I am proud to know you and proud to be around you. Don't ever think I am ashamed of you."

Slowly, he loosened his grasp but didn't quite let me go. Instead, I felt as though I was floating in his embrace. His eyeglasses sparkled like silver in the lamplight, and the leaves scattering the stairs looked like gold and gems in the darkness. I sighed.

"I'm sorry," I said, as he took both of my hands in his. 

"Why?" he asked, absently tracing a pattern on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"For thinking you stood me up," I frowned a little. It seemed like such a big thing only minutes ago, like my world was crumbling. But now, it was nearly insignificant.

Harvey laughed and allowed himself to fall into a sitting position on the stairs. Gingerly, aware of my trembling knees, I did the same.

"I did, in a way," he said. "I'm sorry to have stood you up, it was not my intention."

Hesitantly, I reached forward with a hand. He met it with his own, and we sat in the darkness, fingers entwined.

"I forgive you," I said, finally. "This was much better."

"Oh?" he said. For a moment he was silent, then, "I think I agree."

I glanced at him, and he grinned, his mustache turning up at the corners as he leaned in to kiss me again.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaack!
> 
> So sorry for keeping you all on hold for so long, but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for all the comments! This chapter was really hard for me to write, which may or may not be obvious. I've probably restarted it a half dozen times trying to get something decent, so I hope this makes up for the wait, and hopefully, the next chapter won't take nearly so long.

Violet butted her nose against my hip, nearly knocking me over. Daisy was still nestled in her stall, the calf I'd been toying with calling Tulip asleep in a tangle of young legs. She was nearly weaned, and I could finally get some milk from the mother once again.  Both cows mooed, but quietly, as if not to wake the calf.  

 

"Morning, ladies," I responded in a whisper.  I tugged the door shut.  Violet scampered off, not much older than a calf herself.  Her mother was otherwise occupied, and I was ready for another cheese pressing.  The chest beside the door held my milking apparatus, which I quickly collected before helping ease the older cow upright.  

 

After the pail of frothing milk was set out to separate, I tugged open the accordion door.  Daisy was unlikely to leave the barn with little Tulip still occasionally suckling, but Violet liked to chase the butterflies in the lower field.  I'd knocked a rough fence together to keep her from disappearing into the woods, so she would be fine for the afternoon.  With my other morning chores completed, I trudged back towards the farmhouse.  Molly mewled at me from the porch, and I belatedly remembered to fill her dish.  She twined between my legs as water splashed into the stoneware bowl.  "There you go, little one."  She blinked slowly at me, before delicately washing a paw.  

 

I allowed myself a few minutes to stand on the porch and look out over the field.  Long rows of corn stretched towards the horizon, neatly spaced.  I was inordinately fond of the row spacing.  Towards the chicken coop was a patch of cranberries and a few pumpkin vines.  I sighed, rubbing a hand over the back of my neck, already damp with sweat.  Even in autumn, it was warm.  I lifted my hair to allow a breeze along my skin, before turning and heading into the house.  

 

The clock over the mantlepiece was ticking quietly, showing a quarter after nine. None of the crops were ready to harvest today, and I'd fed the livestock already.  Any other day I'd grab up my fishing pole, or head to the mines.  The scar on my ribs twinged a bit at that thought, and my eyes wandered towards the bit of green fabric draped over the back of a kitchen chair.  

 

Harvey had refused it last night, especially after I declined to let him walk me back to the farm.  

 

_"Shane needs you right now," I insisted, indicating the door of the clinic.  "I've taken up enough of your time."_

 

_He looked back at the blue door and his shoulders slumped._

 

_"You're right.  I wish you weren't," he added, a little ruefully.  With a delay that I hoped was reluctance, he released my hand, reaching for the doorknob.  "If you're sure -"_

 

_"Goodnight, doctor," I said, a small flutter in my stomach.  In the dim light of the streetlight, I thought I caught a blush. He shook his head and let himself back into the clinic._

 

_"Goodnight," he called as the door closed._

 

I shook my head, dismissing the image of his fingers curled on the door jam, the look of pure exhaustion strangely paired with elation on his face.  Goosebumps sprang up on my arms, despite the heat still blooming outside.  Behind me, I heard the door creak open.  Molly pushed her way inside.  She took a few steps across the hardwood floor, then leapt into the chair with Harvey's jacket on it.  Her paws flexed, and she began to knead a nest into the soft fabric.

 

"Oh no, you don't," I said, darting forward to snatch the coat out of the cat's reach.  She mewled pitifully. She knew that smell, of a friend who always patted her and threw her toys and maybe gave her a treat.  "I know, I know," I replied to her plaintive cries.  "But it's not mine.  I need to give it back." Her eyes narrowed, and she jumped out of the chair to find a different perch elsewhere in the house.  

 

The fabric was soft under my fingers, and I relished the cool smoothness, rubbing my thumbs over the lapels.  It was a little threadbare around the elbows, as if Harvey often propped himself on his arms.  There was a small ink stain, nearly invisible from many washings, that decorated the bottom of the left breast pocket.  Feeling a little self-concious, I lifted it to my face and took a deep breath. It still smelled faintly of rubbing alcohol, and something bitter.  Coffee, yes, that was it. 

 

On the back of my stove, a battered kettle of water sat on one of the burners.  It's contents, boiled earlier this morning for my own tea, were probably still lukewarm. I lowered the coat back to the chair and pondered the kettle.  I was sure there was a jar of instant coffee somewhere in the kitchen - without further thought, I had relit the burner and was digging through cabinets for a cup with a lid.  

 

***

 

Outside the clinic, I took a few deep breaths.  The scent of the hot coffee seemed to bolster me, and I clutched tightly at the metal mug.  It had made its way from Zuzu City with me and was decorated with large cartoonish coffee beans.  I frowned at the design, but it was the only one I had that had a lid.  Under my arm, folded neatly, was Harvey's jacket.  Another breath.

 

"Is that you, Miss Farmer?" I felt myself go stiff at the familiar voice, refusing to turn and acknowledge the approaching form of Evelyn.    Through the corner of my eye, I saw her red housecoat as she rounded the side of Pierre's shop.  

 

A stream of expletives ran through my head as I tried to think of something to say that wouldn't be too incriminating.  Instead, I twisted the door handle and threw myself into the clinic.  

 

Harvey, seated behind the counter and filling out a form on a clipboard, glanced up at the sudden intrusion.  

 

"Beth?" he said, his voice tired, but soft.  

 

"Shhhhh!" I whispered, ducking below the window and peering over the sill. There was a dull thumping sound, then a shuffle.  I felt a form ease down on the floor beside me.

 

"What's going on?" Harvey whispered, bemusedly before yawning.  

 

"Evelyn," I said.  We both knelt, looking out into the courtyard.  The older woman stood there, hands on her hips, peering about.  Her hand reached for the door of the clinic and I tensed.

 

"Vincent! Vincent, don't run!" 

 

I heard Penny's voice, muffled through the glass, as the teacher followed her young charge into the square. The boy skidded to a halt, but not before he slammed into one of the many haybales that made up the centerpiece by the Saloon.  Evelyn's hand retracted, and she turned to admonish the boy.  Inside the clinic, I let out my held breath and slid down the wall.  

 

"What was that all about?" Harvey asked, easing himself into a more comfortable position.

 

"Evelyn seems to have a vested interest in my love life - " I said absently, pushing my hair behind my ears. 

 

"Oh?" I heard the smile in Harvey's voice before I looked up, and I felt a blush creep across my cheeks as I realized what I had said, and to whom.  

 

"Um - " I mentally backpedaled, ignoring the grin on his face as I awkwardly pushed myself to my feet.  "Uh, here, I brought you your coat back - "I said, grabbing at the jacket, which was now an awkward heap of fabric rather than the tidy folded garment I'd carried in.  As I tugged on it, though, the coffee cup tilted.  

 

Before I could react, Harvey caught the cup smartly by the handle.  He eyed the frolicking coffee beans on the outside, then looked up at me.  

 

"Coffee?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Oh.  Oh, yes, I brought that for you," I stammered.  Suddenly, all the confidence I had had as I walked briskly into town evaporated, stolen by the meddling busybody of town.  "I know you like coffee - It's only instant, not good stuff, and I don't know how you take it - "

 

Harvey flicked the lid open with one finger and quickly downed its contents. I went abruptly silent as he gulped the hot coffee down in an instant.  He swallowed, then ran a thumb along his mustache after any remaining droplets.  Suddenly my own mouth felt very dry. 

 

He looked up at me, clearly more alert now.  

 

"Wow.  Thanks, Beth.  I didn't know how much I needed that." he said, putting the cup into the window sill.  "Usually Maru has the coffee pot going in the morning, but I gave her the day off and frankly I haven't the foggiest how to use those new fangled pod things." he shook his head and gave me a soft smile.  "Good morning."  he added, the sides of his eyes crinkled, and my heart thumped painfully.  

 

"So - how's Shane doing?" I asked, offering a hand to help him to his feet.  He accepted, and his palms were warm against my own.  

 

"Better.  I discharged him first thing this morning.  That boy's got a high alcohol tolerance, I'll give him that.  Would hate to see his liver in a few years, though.  Thankfully after all that nonsense last night, he could go home and get some rest." He paused to dust the back of his pants off, then scooped up the coffee cup once more, popping off the lid and peering inside wanly.  

 

"Sorry it wasn't great coffee," I offered.  "I don't care much for the stuff myself." 

 

"Any coffee is good coffee," he replied, before determining there was, in fact, no errant sip left behind and returning the lid.  "Besides, you brought it to me.  That makes it very good coffee indeed." He handed me the cup with another smile, his fingers brushing against my own.  

 

"N-no, you keep it," I stammered at the touch, pushing it back into his hands.  "Um, I could probably show you how to use your machine, if you like?" 

 

"Really? That would be fantastic," he said, a little too enthusiastic for a man learning how to operate a coffee pot.  He shoved at his glasses, which were sliding down his nose, then indicated the double swinging doors.  "It's back this way."  

 

He pushed the doors open, then looked back over his shoulder at me.  

 

"Um, Beth? "

 

"Yeah?" I answered, glancing up from where I'd stooped down to retrieve the abandoned coat.

 

"I still owe you that date, and I'm not too busy today.  Maybe we could go down to the beach?" A note of apprehension entered his voice, and my insides turned to mush.  

 

"Yeah!" I said a little too loud, twisting his coat in my hands.  "Yeah, that would be great." 

 

"Great," he replied, his shoulders relaxing.  

 

"Great," I murmured to myself, following him into the back of the clinic.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, if you all want to find me outside of here, i'm on tumblr as GalaxyFarm (which is basically just me reblogging endless Harvey art. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for long hiatuses, please take this 3k of fluff as a tribute.

Even in the early afternoon, the beach was deserted. Elliot's cabin was shut tight, the candle usually left burning in the window snuffed. Willy's shop creaked slightly in the sea breeze but the fisherman was clearly off plying more fruitful waters. A few orange leaves skittered across the empty shore. My boots crunched deep into the dry sand as I stepped off the bridge. Footsteps told me Harvey was following close behind. 

I took a step to the side as he came off the bridge, a sudden apprehension taking hold. I wasn't quite brave enough to start towards the water. 

"Looks like we're alone, " Harvey said, his eyes scanning the empty beach before settling on me. I felt a shiver run up my spine and turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "What?" he asked, puzzled, then a blush spread across his cheeks as he realized the double meaning. "Ah! I mean - there's no one else on the beach - we have it to ourselves - " with each double entendre his flush grew. Finally, he stuffed a fist in his mouth, his face bright red. I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up out of my chest. With a sudden burst of courage, I reached over and grabbed his hand, the one not currently being gnawed on, and squeezed it. After a moment he pried his fingers out of his mouth and gave a small chuckle, nearly swallowed up by the sound of the surf. He twisted his hand in my grip and interlaced his fingers with my own. His face, still tinged slightly pink, was intense. It was my turn to blush as I broke eye contact, staring off towards the waves. 

A few feet away, half buried in the sand, a large scallop shell beckoned. 

"Oh!" I exclaimed, taking a half step forward. My arm tugged backward and Harvey tripped after me, stumbling a bit on the loose terrain. He laughed and let go of my hand. 

"Go on, then, you scavenger," he said. I scampered forward to dislodge the shell, tucking it into my pocket. It wasn't much, but a few gold never hurt. Alternatively, I owed Vincent a favor for distracting Evelyn this morning, and he was on a sea life kick lately. I turned back to see Harvey kneeling in the sand, untying his scuffed leather shoes. 

"Harvey?" 

He looked up and gave me a lopsided smile. 

"Work shoes aren't the best for strolling the beach," he explained, picking at the double-knotted laces. The shoe came off, along with a good amount of sand. How he'd managed to accumulate that much sand in his footwear already was beyond me. I stifled a giggle - his socks were green, like his jacket. He tugged them off as well, neatly folding them and tucking them inside the shoes. Carefully he rolled up the legs of his pants, out of reach of the sand. "It's not very dignified, but at least I'll be clean," he said with some satisfaction. He stood, dusted off his knees, and carried the shoes back to the bridge. Hastily I kicked off my own boots and socks and chased after him, leaving them in a heap next to his tidy pair.

The shadows began to stretch long across the beach as we wandered. Every so often I darted away to dig another shell from the sand. My backpack was still at the farm, so my pockets quickly filled. Instead, I began to amass a sandy pile on the bridge near my boots. Harvey chuckled each time I bent to retrieve a shell. 

"Those really make that much money?" he asked as I stacked another handful of clams. I shrugged, then huffed as my careful pile toppled over. 

"Better than nothing," I replied, standing up and dusting off my hands. 

Once the shore was scoured of bivalves, we walked down to the end of the docks, the same place we'd sat to watch the jellies. Harvey sat, sighing heavily, and let his bare feet dangle off the end, just barely skimming above the water. every so often an errant wave would wash past, submerging his toes. I sat cross-legged beside him, leaving about a foot of space between us He glanced over but didn't comment, choosing instead to lean back on his elbows and close his eyes. 

The sun was beginning to set and sent streaks of gold through his hair. He seemed far more relaxed than I'd seen him before, his breathing slow and even. His tie4, which he'd loosened when removing his shoes, rose and fell in a gentle, rhythmic manner. Not for the first time, I found myself focusing on his hands. They were clenched tightly, bracing him in his reclined position. The veins and knobs of bone stuck out in sharp relief, but a sudden relaxing of the palm as he stretched smoothed the lines and revealed his long, slender fingers. 

"See something you like?" His voice was soft and low and this time, full of meaning. I pulled back but burst into uncontrollable laughter at the sight of his bright red face. 

Harvey lurched fully upright, the beginning of a frown dragging his mustache down, but then he too began to laugh. He scrubbed at his flushed cheeks with the heels of his palms. 

"Sorry - " he began, still laughing softly. "Sorry. I'm not very good at this. I'm a little out of practice." 

Puzzled, I found myself uncrossing my legs and leaning forward. 

"Out of practice?" 

"You know. Smooth talking. Flirting. Dating in general." He waved his hands in a vague sort of gesture. "What was the word he used..." he paused, then his face flushed again as he remembered. "Su- sultry," he stammered, not meeting my gaze. I bit my lip to keep from grinning. Harvey was many things. Sultry, though?

"Who's he?" 

He shifted positions, a little nervously. He brought up a knee and propped an elbow on it. After a moment of silence, he sighed. 

"I was in early this morning to check on Shane. After I discharged him, Gus showed up at the clinic." He knotted his hand into his hair, gripping it anxiously. "He read me the riot act for standing you up last night." 

"But -" I protested, but Harvey cut me off with a bashful smile.

"I know," he said, reaching across and laying his free hand on mine. I shook my head and continued. 

"No, I mean, how did he know? I didn't say who I was supposed to be meeting."

Harvey chuckled. 

"Well, small town, no secrets. You know." 

I sighed. I did know. 

"Also -" he paused again and looked away. "I go to the Stardrop some evenings for a glass of wine. I - I may have had a few more the night you agreed to have dinner with me. Courage in the bottom of the bottle, or whatever the damn saying is." His hand slid out of his hair to rub his eyes in embarrassment. "I got a little drunk. Well, maybe more than a little. Of course, I announced to everyone you'd said yes. Then - well, then they all started trying to give me advice," he said gloomily. 

I gaped at him. So it wasn't just me. The male population of the town had been hounding him as much as the women had been after me. Harvey massaged his temples as he continued. 

"Elliott was trying to walk me through the structure of a sonnet, and Sam kept interjecting about how you could easily turn a poem into song lyrics. Clint, of course, was very doom and gloom and hopelessness, but Sebastian cut him off - something about a very angry game of pool? I'm not sure, that last part is a little foggy." I looked down sheepishly, but he didn't seem to notice and kept talking. "And Demetrius! I haven't seen him that protective of anyone since Maru's first day in the clinic. He might have tried threatening me - I know there was a comment about breaking your heart. The rest is unclear." He frowned again. 

"Anyway. Everyone knew, so when I didn't show last night, Gus came for me. I explained about Shane and cleared the air, but then he tried to COACH me - "

The look on his face was so confused and exasperated I couldn't help but grin. Harvey seemed to relax a bit then. The knee propped up released and he stretched it back out in front of him, scooting himself until both legs extended perpendicular across the dock. A rueful smile teased at the edge of his mouth. "Gus is a little - mmm, old-fashioned?" He favored me with a sardonic look, and I giggled. "He kept giving me all these lines to say, tricks - " Orange light glittered off his glasses as he shook his head. "Clearly his methods aren't quite right for this - situation." 

I pulled my knees up wrapped both arms around them, bracing my cheek on the tops, then looked sideways at Harvey. 

"Maybe not," I said, a little slowly, still trying to figure out how to say whatever it was that was making my stomach feel all trembly. "You may be 'out of practice', Harvey, but this is all still new to me. I - " I paused and drew a deep breath. "I liked YOUR methods." 

The sun touched the horizon, bathing everything in fiery light. Harvey leaned back again, ostensibly to escape the glare of the light, and stared upwards into the bright autumn sky. After a long moment, he gave a single, breathy laugh. 

"You made me nervous the first time we met," he said without looking at me. "You seemed lost, and scared, and I worried about you being on your own, in a new town, secluded out on that farm." 

"Ugh, you mean the day I dropped cauliflower everywhere because I was crying, and you had to chase them all over town and carry them back through the rain?" 

"You seemed like you needed a friend," he replied. "And there WAS a great deal of cauliflower in the square." 

I made a grumbling, disgusted sound in my throat and he laughed again a true, deep laugh. The sound seemed to carry him upwards and he stood. I straightened from my folded position, taking his hands when he offered them. 

Harvey pulled me upright, but instead of releasing my hands he tugged me closer, both hands clasped tight between us. A sudden breeze kicked up off the water, ruffling Harvey's hair and sending strands of mine tangling across my face. 

"Moment ruiner," I muttered under my breath. Harvey smiled and released one of my hands to smooth the section of hair back behind my ear. His green eyes bored into me and I felt my cheeks burning as he leaned closer - 

The shift in the wind brought with it a strange, far off droning sound. Harvey paused and looked up. 

"What's that?" he asked, scanning the sky.

"Sounds like a plane?" I replied, glancing upwards as well, but without the same fervor. 

I expected him to dismiss the noise. Instead, he dropped my hand to hip level, although he kept his fingers twined with mine. He shaded his eyes with his free hand, searching the air. 

"Twin cockpits -" he mumbled, then began to search his pockets while still focused on the sky. 

"Harvey?" I asked.

He didn't reply but made a small 'aha' sound as he pulled a small metal case from one of his trouser pockets. I was completely baffled - it looked like an old-fashioned cigarette case, and I was about to comment when he thumbed a small catch on the side. With a pop, the case opened on a hidden hinge, revealing a set of folding lenses. 

"Folding opera glasses," he said, holding the bizarre device to his eyes. "Not great clarity or distance, but better than lugging binoculars around." 

He swept his contraption back and forth, before stilling. "Yes, there's the double cockpits - quartz windscreens -" he dropped the glasses and turned to me excitedly. 

"A Blackbird, Beth!" 

"Yes?" I replied, perplexed. 

"A Zuzu Blackbird!" he repeated. He snapped the case closed and shoved it back into his pocket before taking off back down the dock, tugging me along behind him. 

"I have a radio back in my apartment - she's flying low enough I could probably make contact!" He sprinted across the sand, following the path of the little plane overhead. Only the sight of his shoes on the bridge gave him pause, but I quick;y detached my hand from his. 

"I got them, go!' I said, pulling up short at the bridge. He gave me a look filled with gratitude before dashing barefoot over the bridge and into town.

I shook my head as I tried to catch my breath. 

"Wonder what everyone will think of the doctor running barefoot through town," I said to myself and leaned down to scoop up both pairs of shoes. After a moment's hesitation, I abandoned the pile of shells for another day, then hurried into town at a slightly slower pace. 

The cobblestones were cool on my feet after the lingering warmth of the sand. Dusk was rapidly falling and I trotted through the falling shadows, trying not to draw too much attention to myself. I did, however, notice Penny sitting with Maru on their customary bench. Penny nudged her friend at the tell-tale sight of Harvey's green socks poking out of his shoes. Maru nodded, and gave me a big grin and a thumbs-up. 

The door to the clinic was slightly ajar, and I pushed it open tentatively. 

"Harvey?" I called. All the lights were off, but a soft glow came from under the swinging double doors. I heard a muffled voice overhead and followed it through the doors to a second door, concealing a set of stairs. My heart suddenly began to hammer. It had never seemed strange for him to be in the farmhouse with me, but going into his apartment felt - different, somehow. I heard Harvey talking excitedly overhead, and quickly ascended the stairs. 

Whatever I had been expecting from Harvey's apartment was quickly dismissed as I opened the door at the top of the steps. The spartan, tidy interior in my mind vanished, swallowed by the cozy, if a bit cluttered, bachelor studio flat. A pair of worn red sofas dominated one corner of the room, a rag rug positioned precisely between them. On the other side a large, sturdy table completely covered with tiny paint bottles, pots of glue, and bits of plastic. And along the back wall - hundreds of model airplanes. Suddenly everything made sense. 

"Harvey," I murmured, under my breath. "You colossal nerd." 

The nerd in question was perched on a tall stool beneath the window, a cumbersome headset covering his ears. He was occupied fiddling with a series of dials on a large radio set positioned nearby. 

"Seeking aerial response -" he said into an old-fashioned microphone, still twisting the knobs. "This is Dr. H at 52 North, 43 and a half East -" He paused, and gave the dial one further quarter turn before letting go. "Anyone out there?" 

I took a few steps into the room, his shoes still clutched to my chest, and jumped as a crackling noise erupted from the radio. I could hear the static through the massive earphones, and a far-away sounding voice. 

"Copy Dr. H - Blackbird Fiver-Fiver Zuzu. Anything to report?" 

Harvey jumped upright, clutching the headset to his ears.

"I got someone!" he shouted. Then - "Standard ground report!" he rattled off a list of numbers and percentages rapid fire before signing off just as quickly and slumping back onto his stool. "Incredible!" he murmured. "A Blackbird pilot!" he turned and saw me standing in the doorway. "Beth! A Blackbird Pilot, and I got to talk to him!" 

Overhead the droning sound grew louder, and Harvey lurched upright. 

"Look, he's passing by again!" He pulled back the curtain and leaned forward, pointing towards the black plane flying low overhead. I joined him at the window, staring upwards. Harvey laughed and waved through the window. Once the plane had disappeared from sight, he slowly tugged the curtain back into place. A dreamy look washed across his face as he seemed to float across the room, landing on one of the sofas. As he sat, though, the soft smile slowly faded.

"You alright, Harvey?" I finally asked, setting his shoes down beside the door and sitting opposite, on the other sofa. He glanced up, and a wistful sigh escaped him. 

"It was my dream to be a pilot," he said, a sort of mournfulness in his tone. "I started collecting these planes as a boy, hoping to one day fly the real deal. It's very therapeutic, putting them together. Small pieces, exacting instruction. It takes a steady hand, and a great deal of patience." He glanced back at the collection decorating his walls. "Course, then I got older. My vision started to go bad. Once you hit a certain point, they won't let you fly. And I kept pushing myself, saying I could make it work. I took the courses in college, I did the book work." He shook his head. "I spent so many nights up in the air traffic control tower, monitoring. Should have made it better. Instead, I ended up terrified of heights." He sighed sadly. "Double whammy - bad eyes, crippling acrophobia.

"My parents were devastated when I told them I dropped the courses. That was a lot of money down the drain. So I had to scramble - the medical program on campus was accepting students, so I went there. Turns out model assembly is pretty good practice for surgery, who knew?" He looked up, and I could see years of pain in his eyes. Without thinking, I found myself on my feet, crossing the room, and settling beside him on his couch. He gave me a soft smile and settled back, our shoulders touching. 

"I'm so sorry, Harvey," I said. I felt, more than saw, his shrug. 

"Oh, don't be sad. I love my work. It's rewarding, and I know I'll always have a job." He chuckled, then turned to look at the closed window. "Sometimes, though, it's nice to remember old dreams." He sighed and eased himself back into the well-worn cushions. His arm twitched and I hastily moved, but he simply wrapped it around the back of the couch, resting it gently on my shoulder. "Of course, if I'd been a pilot, I might have never met you." 

A few moments of quiet passed where I held completely still, too afraid to move and break the silence. Harvey's hand rubbed small circles on my shoulder, but eventually, his motions stilled, and his breathing settled. I looked up to see that he had closed his eyes. The day had caught up to both of us, and the sudden adrenaline burst of the plane only precipitated a crash. 

"Harvey?" I said, just as he started to drift off to sleep. 

"Hmm?" His eyes fluttered but stayed closed. Slowly, more afraid of waking him than any sort of embarrassment, I scooted closer to him on the couch, leaning my head gently against his shoulder. It felt - natural. Comfortable. Like I belonged there. 

"Thanks for a great first date." 

He smiled and pulled me in tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Harvey's sprite's green shoes, so I gave him green socks instead. Seems like the sort of thing he would do. 
> 
> Also, I have one of those opera glasses. It's really neat.


End file.
